Last month, I wrote an article called “50 things I learnt at 50” and received an overwhelmingly positive response. Interestingly, many people gravitated towards one particular lesson I shared: No 37: in every family, there’s always a member who feels entitled. They are dangerous – they’ll be the first to accept a handout and the first to contest a will.

Out of all 50 lessons, this was the one people reached out to me about the most, which, I must admit, was quite surprising. Then it dawned on me – it was more of a “self-check”, making them wonder whether they were the entitled ones.

The way children are raised has significant repercussions – both personally and financially. However, over the past four generations, there has been a shift in childhood realities and expectations, leading to the emergence of entitled behaviour in children.

Entitlement, characterised by an unreasonable expectation of favourable treatment or privileges, can foster a culture of dissatisfaction and financial irresponsibility as these children grow into adulthood (Travers, 2022).

Entitlement often develops during childhood and is influenced by myriad cultural, social, and family factors. Parents who consistently provide their children with everything they desire – material or emotional – can inadvertently cultivate a mindset that equates love and success with possession.

Similarly, societal norms that emphasise instant gratification, social media validation, and consumerism further exacerbate the problem.

Let’s face it – the goal of parenting is to raise good children with strong values and morals, equipping them with the skills to venture into the world, make it on their own, and become successful. However, when raising turns into overpraising, shielding children from the harsh reality of consequences or even the concept of losing, “overparenting” becomes the key ingredient for a self-entitled child.

These children often develop a sense of entitlement that manifests in various ways:

• Expensive habits: they may develop a taste for luxury items, engage in impulsive shopping, and become obsessed with brand names, leading to excessive spending that becomes unsustainable over time

• Expectation of gifts: entitled children often expect extravagant gifts for celebrations or even without occasion, which can strain family finances and create resentment within the family.

• Disregard for work ethic: an entitled child may struggle to understand the value of hard work, resulting in poor academic performance or a lack of interest in part-time jobs. This can lead to financial instability in adulthood.

Making matters worse, entitled children often carry these behaviours into adulthood, struggling with their finances, workplace dynamics, and both social and professional relationships. They may also become calculating in their relationships within adulthood, viewing relationships and subsequent connections through the lens of “what’s in it for me?” rather than genuine connections.

Here are ten common financial and lifestyle traits that often emerge in adulthood in a child who grew up feeling entitled:

1, Overspending: a sense of entitlement can lead to the belief that they deserve whatever they want, often resulting in impulsive purchases and living beyond their means.

2, Lack of budgeting skills: without being taught the value of money, or how to manage it effectively, they may struggle with budgeting and allocating funds for different expenses.

3, Avoidance of responsibility: entitled individuals might expect others – such as parents or partners – to handle their financial responsibilities, leading to a lack of independence and financial literacy.

4, Debt accumulation: they may not grasp the seriousness of debt, leading them to accumulate credit-card debt or loans without understanding the long-term consequences.

5, Poor savings habits: people who believe their current lifestyle should take priority over financial security may neglect their savings for the future.

6, Impatience for results: they may expect instant gratification, making it difficult to delay spending or save for larger purchases and causing frustration when immediate results are not achieved.

7, Neglecting financial education: a lack of interest in learning about finances can result in ignorance of key concepts such as interest rates, investments, and retirement planning.

8, Inability to handle setbacks: they may struggle to cope with financial difficulties, viewing them as personal failures rather than learning experiences, which can make it harder to recover or adapt.

9, Entitlement to luxury living: they may expect a particular lifestyle without understanding the work and discipline required to sustain it, leading to poor financial decisions.

10, Reliance on parental support: an expectation that parents will always bail them out financially can prevent them from taking personal responsibility for their finances.

Raising a child who does not feel entitled involves instilling values of gratitude, empathy, responsibility, and resilience.

Teaching children to regularly express gratitude for both big and small things in life is essential. This can be as simple as saying “thank you” for a meal or showing appreciation for the efforts of others.

Furthermore, teaching empathy encourages children to consider other people’s feelings and perspectives. Helping them understand real-life situations and discussing how others might feel in various circumstances can strengthen their emotional awareness.

Additionally, praise effort, not just results. Focus on recognising your child's hard work, perseverance, and dedication rather than just their achievements. This helps them value the process and understand that personal effort is crucial in the long term.

Lastly, engage your child in discussions about the importance of hard work and the value of earning things rather than expecting them to come easily.

Fostering a nurturing environment that emphasises these values can help raise a child who appreciates what they have, considers the needs of others, and understands the importance of hard work and responsibility – rather than expecting a handout at every turn.

Reference

Travers, M. (2022). Psychological Research Helps You Know If Your Child Has an Entitlement Problem. Forbes Magazine. Available from: https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2022/11/29/psychological-research-helps-you-know-if-your-child-has-an-entitlement-problem/ [Accessed 11 February 2025].

• Carla Seely has 24 years of experience in international financial services, wealth management, and insurance. During her career, she has obtained several investment licenses through the Canadian Securities Institute. She holds the ACSI certification through the Chartered Institute for Securities and Investments (UK), the QAFP designation through FP Canada, and the AINS designation through The Institutes. She also holds a master’s degree in business and management