financially Life is hard when it seems you will never get ahead , no matter how hard you try.

And mothers around Bermuda are fighting that battle day in and day out -- choosing between whether they should feed and clothe their children and keep a roof over their heads or silence the bill collectors howling at their doors.

Simone (her name has been changed to protect her identity) lives on the front line of this battle. The day she spoke to The Royal Gazette her children nearly went to school without any food.

Fortunately a voucher from a local organisation put breakfast in their bellies before class started.

Simone has been married twice. Her first marriage lasted for 16 years before her husband moved to Trinidad. He pays her no child support for the five children he fathered.

Her second marriage lasted a year but she and her husband are now separated.

He left her with a three-year-old daughter and "tries to help'', she noted, "but it is not enough''.

Her oldest son is 20 and lives overseas. Her 18-year-old son is a kitchen porter and has a baby on the way and her 17-year-old daughter has a child already. She works part-time in a retail store.

Simone has two other sons, aged 13 and eight, who are in school.

All the family, besides the oldest son and including the grandchild, live together in a Bermuda Housing Corporation three bedroom apartment which was supposed to be a temporary arrangement but has lasted three years.

She said: "They said they would put us there until they renovated another house but they have done nothing since.'' The rent for the apartment is $850 per month but Simone is in arrears for about $5,000 which is supposed to be paid soon.

"I went to court and they gave me until next month to pay the rent I owe,'' she said.

When asked if she would be able to meet the court's demand, she replied: "No way.'' She noted: "My rent is low but it's still hard to pay. Before I was married I was getting a housing allowance and could stay on top of things but when I got married they took me off housing.

Struggling to make ends meet Simone said she has been doing housekeeping on a part-time basis for the past 12 years -- the only work she had been able to find.

While she was paid $20 per hour, she was limited to how much work she could do each week. The oldest children contribute wherever they can.

Simone said: "I get $240 one week and about $300 the next. I have to take $260 to housing each week for my rent and outstanding balance.

"I try to do odds and ends to get by on but there's not much extra work around.'' On top of that she does some volunteer work, often in exchange for food from the Salvation Army.

"I am always asking myself `where's the food going to come from?' I have to take money each week to housing so there's no money for food.

"Sometimes I have to ask my mother for help but most of the time I pray morning, noon and night.'' On top of the rent Simone owes are a pair of outstanding warrants for fines worth a total of about $4,000.

"I have outstanding warrants as well for traffic offences and failing to pay social insurance which goes back to when I tried to run a business but did not know how to.

"These add up to $4,000 in fines. It's not like I killed anyone or robbed anyone. I asked the court why it was after me for about $2,000 in unpaid social insurance when some companies owed thousands of dollars. Why should a company go bankrupt and be able to get away with owing all that money?'' An appeal to the Heath Ministry for help was turned down and Simone knows that if she is pulled before the courts again she will be sent to jail.

"I am working now and trying to make money. If they lock me up, that little bit I earn will be gone,'' she noted.

She lost the social assistance she was receiving when she went abroad on a reduced-price airline ticket with her daughter. Travel is not allowed for social assistance recipients. She is trying to be reinstated.

And there is the fact that her youngest daughter and grandchild are at nursery school age but there are no places available at the Government nursery and Simone has not got the money needed to put them in a private nursery.

"There's lots of kids up there (the Government nursery) and I can't afford other nurseries. There should be another Government nursery to help people who really need it.

"A lot of parents say they cannot get their kids into it.

In the meantime the girls are at a babysitter's but Simone suggested that fathers be forced to pick up the nursery fees for their children.

"The court should try and make fathers pay for their children to go to nursery school. When the time comes to pay, everybody looks at momma.'' She noted that she had run up a bill at a nursery and when it reached $500 they called her demanding payment. "They had the father's number but did not call him. They'll take me to court and demand I pay it but not him.

"I think my husband should be responsible for the rent in arrears as well because he lived there also. My husband is not paying anything like he should be.'' To combat the challenges she faces, Simone is taking a course being offered at a local organisation called How to Budget Your Money. She has also obtained her heavy truck licence and is looking for work in that field. She also wants to get her GED.

"I want to get a better job with insurance, medical and dental benefits and a pension. I have never had that in my life.'' But she noted that mothers in circumstances like hers needed more help from local agencies.

She pointed out: "I think Family Services should be doing more too. They are quick to knock on a door and take a child but when we need something like a bus pass they should also step in. They are so quick to take your children away from you that they should also try to help you keep them.''