Financial issues can negatively affect even the best of relationships. Toss in a recession, high unemployment rates and high levels of debt and the merging of family and finances can leave many people perplexed. Here are some questions readers submitted to me, and my answers:

Q. I'm on a loan with a family member. I was trying to help the person avoid bankruptcy. I've been itching to move out. How will that affect me in trying to rent or buy a new home?

A. Consider the recent results from a national survey of 1,200 people who have been unemployed and looking for a job in the past 12 months. About a fourth of the respondents have missed a mortgage, rent, or credit card payment, according to the John J Heldrich Center for Workforce Development, a research and policy centre at Rutgers University.

Over half borrowed money from friends or relatives to get by.

What if you had co-signed on a loan for someone now experiencing long-term unemployment? What many people don't realize is that when you co-sign for a loan - credit card, car, home - you are tying your financial fate to the borrower.

When you co-sign you are equally responsible for the debt. Therefore, how much you can borrow in the future can be directly impacted by the amount of debt to which you've already obligated yourself on behalf of a friend or family member. You may find it hard to get a mortgage or even rent an apartment if you are on the hook for someone else's debt.

I know people see co-signing as a way to help, but you have to consider how much it may hurt you.

Q. My 19-year-old niece is starting to ask good questions. For example, I just finished a bathroom renovation. My niece asked how long it would take me to pay off the loan.

"What loan?" I asked. I saved and paid cash for it. She was shocked that anyone could have that much in savings.

"What are you saving for now?" she asked.

"Life," I replied.

Is there a book you could recommend for a college student just learning to take care of her own finances?

A. For your niece, I would recommend the new edition of "Get a Financial Life: Personal Finance In Your Twenties and Thirties" by Beth Kobliner.

And keep talking to her. You serve as a living example of good money management.

Q. My nine-year-old son does not know the value of a dollar. He doesn't get an allowance but he gets money from relatives. He knows he has to tithe on what he gets, 40 percent goes into the bank and the rest is his to play with. I've noticed that he has been dipping into his piggy bank, which when filled goes to the bank. I don't know how to instill (in him) that it's important to save when he debates (with me) that he's saving to buy what he wants, so why wait for the long term. I need some help!

A. Let the boy have some short-term fun with his "play" money.

He should be able to buy some things he wants now. With your son, come up with a list of the things he can afford to get right away and things that will take some time to save for, which will teach him delayed gratification.

If you make him save all of his money without any short-term pleasures, he may grow up to resent saving.

Q. What should a couple do when they have saved for years to help fund their only child's college expenses - only to have said child go off to college and fail miserably her first year? She doesn't want to continue. First, how do I get the funds out of the 529 savings plan? Second, how do I get over the anger of scrimping and saving for years, only to have her throw everything away? Right now I want to take the money and go on a dream vacation since we have never done that.

A. It's understandable that you are upset. But the first year of college can be tough and it can discourage a lot of people.

Don't take that dream vacation just yet.

Hang on to the money in case your daughter changes her mind. You should also wait to avoid paying a penalty if she does return to school. Contributions to a 529 plan - a state-operated investment plan - grow tax-deferred. If the money is used for purposes other than qualified higher-education expenses, the earnings are subject to a 10 percent penalty as well as federal income tax.

Make your daughter get a job, pay rent and financially contribute to the household. She is likely to find the pickings slim and the salaries low for someone without a college degree or without some technical training.

Readers can write to Michelle Singletary c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St., NW, Washington DC 20071. Her e-mail address is singletarym@washpost.com. Comments and questions are welcome, but due to the volume of mail, personal responses may not be possible. Please also note comments or questions may be used in a future column, with the writer's name, unless a specific request to do otherwise is indicated.

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