Dear Carla,

I have been dating my girlfriend for about three months. We have a good relationship and really good chemistry but whenever I ask her to go somewhere with me she always has an excuse. It’s starting to bother me and make me wonder if she’s seeing someone else behind my back. I keep asking her why she never wants to do anything with me outside of our homes and she just brushes me off and says I’m overreacting. But what makes it worse is that whenever her girls ask her to go somewhere she rarely says no. What should I do?

FEELING SHELTERED

Dear Sheltered,

I raised this exact question on Facebook the other day because it seems more and more couples are almost living double lives — have a partnership behind closed doors but are never seen with their partners in public. While I think there is something wrong with this type of arrangement, the majority of my followers set me straight. They said that operating like this is now the way of life for most couples because there seems to be a prevailing mindset that if someone knows you are in a relationship, someone will try to ruin it. I think it’s sad. Sounds like your girlfriend shares the mindset.

Dear Carla,

I am struggling financially so I don’t have a lot of access funds. Once a month my friends and I go to dinner. While everyone is conscious about money situations, we have one friend who orders large items all the time. When it comes to paying she expects us to split the bill with her evenly which pushes our share up by at least $15 to $20. I think this is so unfair. The other girls think so too but say nothing. I think she’s selfish. I don’t want to discontinue attending because I enjoy the outing and the break from the stress but I’m tired of paying for her exorbitance. Should I say anything to her?

BROKE

Dear Broke,

Talk to her. If she’s your friend she should understand where you are coming from. But to me there is even a simpler solution. Before you start to order at the next dinner, let your friends know that you will place your items on a separate cheque. Tell them you are on a tight budget and you simply cannot afford to go over it. I’m sure they’ll understand. And who knows, others may feel the same way.

Dear Carla,

Here lately I’ve noticed that so many people are being negative towards each other for the smallest of things. I know I can’t control other peoples’ actions but it’s driving me crazy. Life is difficult for many right now so why add to it? Do you notice this too?

BE HAPPY

Dear Happy,

I think that a lot of people are really stressed out because of the recession and its impact. They may not mean to be negative but it’s hard when everything is grim. Don’t take it on! Instead offer kind words when you can and ignore the negativity as much as possible.

Dear Carla,

I recently met a man who makes me happy. We laugh and talk and are building a friendship.

He wants to be in a committed relationship, loves his children and has a good job. He is a perfect partner. However, I have a problem. I’m married. While my husband and I live in the same home we do share a bed and are not intimate. We both want a divorce but cannot afford it. I’m the only one working and have three children to provide for. I feel so stuck. I have told “Mike” the situation and while he said he understands he told me that he is not willing to put his life on hold for too long. I’m devastated. I think I’m going to lose him. I’m nowhere near being able to afford a divorce.

SAD

Dear Sad,

You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You have to make a choice. Either you want a new life or you don’t. Since a lack of money is a hindrance, you may have to accept that you have lost him. But if he really cares about you he may be patient and wait. Is there anyway you can get your husband to move. That would give your new friend some reassurance that your relationship with your husband is really over.