Dear Carla: Lately I’ve been under a lot of financial pressure. My middle child asks for a lot of stuff and I simply cannot afford to. I’ve explain to them repeatedly that money does not stretch the way it used to. I suggested they go and pack groceries to earn pocket. They did. But only for a few days. They were fine when they started making money but now it has run out they are asking me for money everyday for lunch. Although my child is 14 I do not think that I should have to provide it as I consider it a luxury. I always have food in my house so I think my child is being spoiled. Do you agree? What should I do? — Not Rich

Dear Not Rich: I absolutely agree with you. I see no reason why you should have to give money to your child when they can eat from home. Since your child does not seem to like packing groceries, consider giving him or her chores to do in exchange for an allowance. Decide in advance how much you can afford and let your child know that this is what you can afford and they need to budget it accordingly. Once the allowance runs out, they should not be give any cash until next time you get paid. And make sure chores are complete.

Dear Carla: The mother of my child just told me that she is planning to move to another country before the year is out. She said she is taking our child. I don’t think that my child should go because their mom does not seem to have a plan in place for the move. She has not started saving and can barely afford to take care of our child now. I’m considering forbidding him from going until I know that she is stable out there. I am not trying to take my child from their mother but I feel I have to do what I have to do. — Should I?

Dear Should I?: Do not allow your child to leave! See if you can convince mom to let you keep the child for at least a year while she’s becoming stable in her new location. It’s one thing to suffer in your own country where family and friends can help you, but when you are in another country that’s a whole different kettle of fish. If she’s really thinking about the best interests of your child she will give if some serious thought.

Dear Carla: How do I let go of my past? My ex treated me badly and since moved on to another relationship. My new boyfriend is good to me and I have a hard time accepting what he brings into my life. I feel like I can’t enjoy him because in the back of mind I’m holding on to the fact that I’m afraid that he will do to me what my ex did. And that’s not fair to him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose him but I can’t seem to shake past experiences.— Need To Let Go

Dear Need To: The worst thing anyone can do to their future is allow it to be ruined by their past! Your EX is no longer around for a reason — because he wasn’t good for you. Identify what your hurts are and work on permanently healing them. Right now you are being unfair to your new lover because he has done nothing to deserve the treatment you are dishing him. Be honest with him and apologise to him. Share with him what’s on your heart and hopefully the two of you can take the journey together. I also suggest you seek counselling for the extra resources and support it sounds like you need.