This is the third and last of our marriage scenarios. The last couple of weeks we created two scenes (tales) of relationships. The first was a new relationship, a first marriage for each party, and the beginning of a new life together. The second tale discussed situations that occur when two parties (from previous relationships) marry. It should be noted that none of these suggestions or alternative solutions is exclusive to either relationship. Just as we are all related in the family of man, newly-weds may face many of the same challenges that the previously-wed do, and can certainly benefit from much of the same resolutions, and vice versa.

NEWLYWEDS

In most cases, planning for a life together involves many decisions: what kind of engagement ring and wedding rings? When to marry? What kind of a wedding? How much should it cost? What to wear? How many attendants? Where to live? Whose furniture should be included? What should be discarded? What kind of decorations? Choice of colours, and so on. In fact, wedding planners recommend that a budget should be used when organising a wedding. Yet, once the festivities are over, many couples never think about how they will handle ongoing finances. Why would they when in reality, most of us find no pleasure in dealing with money issues, but only in what money can bring us and how it makes us feel?

Long-term relationships should be handled like business, and why not? What is wrong with having a meeting of the two directors and developing a mission statement, such as: Our mission statement is to love, honour, protect, and provide for each other financial and emotional well being. We have defined for ourselves the following goals (and they can be as diverse as the marriage), such as:

We will develop a fiscal protocol for handling money matters;

We will put our legal, risk, pension and other affairs in order, immediately. This means having wills, correct beneficiaries on pensions, finding out about disability insurance, putting at least a minimum of life insurance in place, and all of the other items that protect each one of you in catastrophic events;

We will educate and motivate each other to achieve college degrees;

We will support and encourage each other in our choice of business careers;

We will support each other in a maintaining good physical health;

We will not control each other with the use of money or by any other means. Each director has equal voice. Serious matters where agreement cannot be reached by discussion may have to be resolved by arbitration (plain English for consulting a financial planner or a counsellor); and

We will save $XXXX each toward our dream home.

What is fiscal policy? These are just more fancy words for plain English, get your finances in order and keep them that way. Promote a real system as follows:

For all purchases over $300 two signatures are required;

For very large capital acquisitions, a three month decision process must be followed, with part of the cost being saved in cash;

We will save $XXXX enough each year to pay cash for our vacations the next year; and

We are allowed $XXXX pocket money every week, which can be spent any way each director wishes.

Does this sound like the latest buzzword, corporate governance and fixed asset accumulations and petty cash rules? Of course it does, your relationship is now in the business of assuring both of you a full emotional, physically and financially satisfying life. Go to www.google.com and type in www.ihatefinancialplanning.com. Read it. Take every idea you can find, set up your marriage corporation. THEN PUT IT INTO PRACTICE. You will never regret it.

SECOND MARRIAGES.

Everything stated above for newlyweds (or anytime weds) applies. But wait, there is much, much more to consider for the previously weds. For starters, you are generally older. It is critical that you set up protection for both of you because time is NOT on your side. In last week's story the widow was cut off with little recourse and precious little job skills. It is not fun trying to find a job when you are 64 and have not worked for the last fifteen years.

Both of you bring, literally, a ton of baggage to a second marriage. If you have no children from either previous marriage it is less complicated, but if you do, beware; I say this again and again, share your souls AND NOT all of your assets that each of you owned outright before. Pre-nuptials don't work here. Marriage nullifies previous wills, but divorce does not. Review every single document you own to be sure it reflects your current situation and current partner.

Want your new love to benefit from an insurance policy? Then make sure she is the beneficiary, ditto, pension benefits, and so on. It is a great surprise for the new wife to find out after you are floating off in the heavens above, that the old wife will inherit all of your life insurance and your benefits. Yes, in real, sometimes the new wife is much younger and has your new baby family. What is she supposed to do? She may hate you at this point, but it won't change reality. This is not conjecture, I have seen this happen. Life insurance, annuity pensions are contracts and cannot be changed after death to benefit the persons they were supposed to benefit.

If you both have adult children and want to leave assets to them, get competent legal help. Some prominent attorneys in Bermuda do not promote conveying real estate to children, leaving parents with a life interest. Why? Because, we all have the capacity to do dumb things and make immature choices. What happens to your beloved's financial security (life interest) if your adult child remortgages the abode, and then defaults on the payments? What happens if the adult child has a falling out with her second husband and forces co-partition, and the real estate is sold? Think this doesn't happen? Look around your neighbourhood.

Finally, the second marriage is an incredibly complex topic. Everyone wants a soul mate for life and the second time does become the glue that binds you together. If you bring dual-citizenship, adult children, blended families, several sets of grandparents (eldercare), assets and pensions in/from various countries, trusts, and many other issues such as living part-time elsewhere, to this union, you absolutely must seek financial counsel. Otherwise, the family you care about and that you leave behind, will be like the global managing partner of Ernst & Young (United States) who died intestate (meaning no will). His heirs were left with less than $2 million dollars out of a considerable fortune of $24 million. No reflection whatsoever, on the firm itself, but it was his individual choice to do nothing, yet he as a knowledgeable professional knew exactly what would happen.

Take care of each...... in all ways.

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If you would like copies of these two previous columns, Tales, one and Two, dated March 09, and 16, respectively, they can be obtained from www.theroyalgazette.com or by calling The Royal Gazette's main office on Par-la-Ville Road

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Martha Harris Myron CPA CFP is a Certified Financial Planner (tm) (US) practitioner. She holds a NASD Series 7 license, is a former US tax practitioner, and is the winner 2001-The Bermudian Magazine - Best of Bermuda Gold Award for Investment Advice.

Confidential Email can be directed to marthamyron@northrock.bm

The article expresses the opinion of the author alone. Under no circumstances is this advice to be taken as recommendations to buy or sell investment products or as a promotion for financial plans. The Editor of The Royal Gazette has final right of approval over headlines, content, and length/brevity of article.