The tables were laid, the places set; she had chosen the dress and the shoes.

It was a wedding, of sorts. Except Mel Dupres did not walk down the aisle. She greeted her guests and committed to herself.

The idea came to her last year.

“I saw this story of a girl who, in her words, married herself. She had been married before and divorced — a young woman in her early thirties — and decided to get her life back together and have this commitment ceremony with a small group of friends on a rooftop in New York.

“There was something about it that deeply resonated with me.

“Committing to self is one way of preparing to meet that special person who you will be equipped to commit to by becoming the best man or woman that you can be by knowing yourself, trusting and honouring yourself and, most importantly, loving yourself.”

She invited 22 people to share her experience on Sunday at Ariel Sands.

“Most people commit to a partner, but my commitment had to be to myself first,” she said.

“Some of the guests were very old friends and some were newer friends — one, I met a month ago. But the thing that they all have in common is they have touched my life in a very significant way.

“I lost both of my parents, and my extended family are not here. I rely a lot on my friends to feel connected.”

Her mother and father died two and 12 years ago, respectively. They adopted her when she was four days old.

“My parents were my parents. I was their child and they loved me unconditionally, but for me there was always something in the darker times of my life where I never felt good enough. I felt, not even your mother wanted you, so she gave you away.

“Without knowing her story, I assumed the worst.”

Last year, she met her for the first time.

“That was scary and liberating, confusing, but also brought me a lot of peace,” she said.

“[It] allowed me to understand the circumstances around her giving me away. She was a young woman and she struggled with it. She was only 16 or 17. She decided to keep me — I’m grateful for that — and to pass me on to a family that really wanted a child.

“Losing my parents meant that I had to wholeheartedly learn to love me — a journey I am excited about continuing.”

Sunday’s ceremony was “short and sweet, but meaningful”.

A friend officiated; another read a poem. Ms Dupres said her vows and hung them on a palm tree. Among the promises she made were a commitment to healing, to becoming whole, to further understanding herself, loving herself unconditionally and helping others whenever possible.

“Then I took off my shoes, put my toes in the sand and grounded myself,” she said. “People didn’t know what to expect. For me, it’s been a very marked moment of evaluating myself and how I want to be.”

The homeopath said she got mixed reactions from friends after she sent out the invitations.

“Some were excited, some were baffled. One in particular said, ‘I’m not coming. That’s ridiculous’,” she laughed.

That person was persuaded to attend with some “gentle encouragement”.

“That’s the thing. I chose the people carefully because it is wacky,” she shrugged.

“I’m taking a personal stance with myself to be the best me that I can be. We could go through life being the same, but how do we grow?

“We’re taught to take care of ourselves — daily washing, looking nice, those external things — but that real deep loving, respecting, understanding of self is a process.

“When you really sit in that self-love, I think that happens less. That constant chatter of ‘I’m not good enough’, is actually, ‘I’m good enough where I am right now’.

“The tape changes.”

She believes her commitment will take work, in the same way relationships do.

As part of that she plans to “focus on the good stuff”.

“Eating the good foods, practising yoga regularly, all the things that I know nurture me,” she said. “It’s not a question of committing to self, it’s committing to the positive parts of self.

“I was always a people pleaser because I wanted to be accepted. I didn’t want to be given away again. I didn’t want to be rejected.

“Recently, I’ve changed that and it feels good. There’s less of the guilt of saying ‘no’. I’m doing the right thing for me.

“The whole committing to self, at first I thought, ‘This is so narcissistic. How self-indulgent’. But then I realised, actually, it’s very honest. It’s very true. It’s where I am right now in order to move forward.

“I remember growing up I had a beautiful ring that one of my aunts gave me. I would wear it on my ring finger and my mum would say to me, ‘Don’t wear that ring because you’ll never get married’.

“There was something about feeling secure with that ring on my finger. It didn’t bother me if I didn’t get married. I chose to put it on there. The good thing is there will be no divorce. And if I meet someone? Hopefully, I’m ready.”