@$:[AT]bodyindent:The wind is whistling around the corners of our house. It's as if God is making speeches with missing teeth and each word comes slipping through the holes sideways. He must be breathing deeply. The wind is not just whistling; it's heaving. Perhaps He is in deep sleep, snoring heavily. At times like this I like to wrap blankets around myself to feel secure.Earlier today the wind blew a spider plant off its pedestal and the pot broke on the floor. The plant lay in a heap and the wind blew the dirt across the tile floor and under the throw rug in our living room. There is nowhere that is truly safe. Safety is an illusion.When the wind comes up and the temperature does down, we leave the doors and windows open. Yes, it may blow things slightly apart inside the house, and it surely leaves dirt and dust all over the place, but we love the feel of the cold."Are you nuts?!" I can hear it as if you whistled it into my ears.No. This is perfect sleeping weather. This is perfect bundling-up weather.There is something reassuring about pulling the comforter up around my neck and letting the cold wind blow across my face. It feels warm and snug under the blankets, and I can feel the weight of them. I prefer to attempt to warm up when it's cold rather than trying to cool off when it's hot.Out on the ocean, the same wind whipped the waves into white caps, and two wind surfers raced across the surface of the water, occasionally leaping several feet into the air. To watch them, you might think they were crazy, but they were just fearless.Every part of life comes with some risk. If a person cannot tolerate the normal anxiety of living, of taking the next breath without knowing if he or she will be able to take the one after that, then life becomes a torment, and a person retreats, progressively cutting off people and opportunities. By "playing it safe" such a timid person fools him or herself into thinking they have reduced or avoided the pitfalls, the accidents, the catastrophes that befall people who take risks.Now, it's one thing to actually be a risk taker, but this is not what I'm talking about. There is a normal level of risk that comes with mundane living. The avoidant person deludes him or herself into thinking they can sift risk out of the ordinary currents of life. The Avoidant Personality Disorder (APD) takes this to the extreme and becomes so rigid and exacting in efforts to eliminate risk that their functionality is hindered.Generally speaking personality disordered people show an enduring pattern of experience and behaviour that deviates from the norms of a culture in terms of how such people perceive and interpret others, self, people or events. Their emotional range and intensity is often out of sync or inappropriate, their interpersonal relationships are troubled and troubling, and they often lack impulse control. This overall picture leaves a person impaired socially and often intrudes upon and endangers occupational functioning. The pattern can usually be seen to have been going on for some time.The APD person is socially inhibited, has feelings of inadequacy, and is vigilant, constantly attempting to protect him or herself against negative evaluation. The avoidance extends to all facets of life, including one's occupation, where the person fears criticism, disapproval, and/or rejection. Because of this, these people are unwilling to become involved with others unless they are certain of being liked. Within intimate relationships, they are restrained for fear of being shamed. These people view themselves as socially inept, unappealing or inferior. They do not take interpersonal risks, because relationships seem too unpredictable. For such people the only comforter is the choice to not do something or not be with someone. They do not "go for it" in life. Instead of risking something so that they might feel, so that they might enlarge their lives through new or richly-sensed experience, they withdraw and protect themselves. They make a trade: perceived safety is worth more than fullness of life. Consequently, life in its fullness can be seen to pass them by.Now, it's one thing to pull the blankets up to avoid the winds of life, and it's another to open up all the doors and windows and let the storms blow through one's house so that you can experience what it feels like to snuggle. It's not necessary to throw oneself into typical risky adventures like windsurfing on the open sea. Sometimes all you have to do is be open when the wind blows.