There were a few firsts for me this week:The first time I stepped foot in Magnum Power Force Gym; the first time I did the ‘stairway to hell' exercise; the first time I competed against a six-year-old on a jungle gym; the first time I did spinning and most likely my last; and the first time Rachel Sawden gave me a rub down and spent some time with me in the hot tub (yeah guys, I thought that might get your attention ).There will also be another first before this article is being printed, or ‘put to bed' as we say in the newspaper business: our first official weigh-in before the judges.From what I hear from my contacts, Christopher Johnson is none too pleased about the observations I made about him a couple of weeks back you're going to have to wait until next week to see how that turns out.Saturday: 7.45am.Location: Magnum Power Force Gym.I scan the gym. Very impressive. Half of the top floor is dedicated to cardio machines and the other half to weights. Karen Magnum mentions something about splitting into two teams half do cardio, half do weights then switch over in 30 minutes.In my earlier scan it became clear to me that there were more people than there were treadmills and some of them looked hot: dials, lights, buttons and they even had their own entertainment centre, something right out of the Space Shuttle programme.A couple of them even had their own cooling system. I've got to get me one of those!“Right, grab a machine,” came the order. I was off like a shot. I was in front but someone was close behind (nothing a little elbow to the rib cage couldn't take care of).I was closing in, I had almost made it. And then I heard, “David you go on the stairs please”.My world was shattered. So I stopped, helped two ladies off the floor that had somehow managed to get in my way, and went to the stair machine. It looked awkward, clumsy and ugly.“Push this button here,” I was told. “It will start off slow but it will speed up.”Yeah, whatever. Slow isn't the word. I had time to check my manicure, look over my shoulder to see who had my machine and wished horrible things would happen to her.Take my machine would she, at least I got an elbow in.By now sure enough the machine was getting faster and faster and faster.The screen reflects your speed, calories burned all the regular stuff. But it also tells you how many floors you've climbed 26, 27, 28 sweat starts pouring off me; my legs begin to feel like lead.“Right, slow it down,” I hear. Oh, thank God. Thank you!Sixty seconds later: “Right, speed it up.”Oh no 31,32,33, but it's okay, the ones on the treadmill are suffering too. Legs are flying all over the place looking like rag dolls being pulled behind a speeding car 54, 55,56.After 30 minutes: “Okay stop.”God, make the pain stop. Give me water, please. Let me just curl up on the floor and die.If you ever want to work up a sweat this machine is for you. It's a killer. It's horrible!Okay, over to the weights. Twenty-five to 30 machines all lined up, all numbered.The word from Magnum PI (personal instructor), is one minute on each machine, then go onto the next. I really enjoyed this.Each machined targeted certain muscles or muscle groups and had a little diagram explaining what body part goes where when you position yourself on the machine.I sat the wrong way around on one of them and had 18 women shouting at me that I was not doing it right.Even more annoying was Ron Magnum referring to all of us as “ladies”: “Okay ladies let's start”.Hey Ron, I got testicular fortitude over here. I would have thumped him if he wasn't so darn big.Okay, I'm off. Feel the burn! So as I'm minding my own business, our lensman Charles Reilly turns up out of nowhere, with his camera and a big grin on his face and starts filming me.Now after six weeks I have learned that no good can come of this. Co-host Rachel Sawden comes over.“Hi David!”“Good morning,” I replied.RS: “You're working really hard today David. Keep it up and you can join me in the hot tub after.”Hmm, I smell a rat. Seeing who is behind all this, I play along.“Cool , you bringing the champagne? “ I asked.“I will bring some bubbly,” was the seductive reply.“Okay, if not I'll come with my own gas.”The look turned to something of disbelief and with that came the response: “Oh, how charming.”Okay downstairs we go to do spinning.Now I have heard about this something about sitting on a stationary bike and peddling with your tail up in the air.Apparently it's a massive fat burner. Well my first experience with it is that it's a major pain in the butt. No, literally a pain in the butt.Whoever designed this thing was not thinking of comfort, at least not of tush comfort.My wife does spinning. She quickly learned to get a cushioned seat cover.I should have borrowed hers. You're up and down like a yo-yo.There's some instructor on a microphone who is very energetic and pumped and clearly been doing it for years as she doesn't have a an ounce of fat on her, saying, “Position one, position three. Tension up, tension down.”Nope, this one's not for me. I'm no Lance Armstrong but I understand some people love it.So we are done for the day, or so I think as we are walking out we're told to wait by the kids' jungle gym. Now what?“Okay we want two people from each team to try and beat the kids' time.”Are these people ever satisfied? Now they want to show us up in front of some seven-year-olds?Let me go and hide in the corner and lick my wounds from the day's events.As names are being read off of those who are now going to lose what little self-esteem they have left I hear, “Skinner! Where's Skinner?”Oh #[AT]%&! Why me?! What did I do?!So they let the kids lose. They reminded me of a whippet race as they tore around the jungle gym in no time flat, exiting with a big cheerful grin.They didn't even break a sweat. You know what's going on in their evil little heads. They are looking you up and down appraising you, thinking to themselves, “Beat that fat boy.”Hey, if I can take out a lady who is beating me to a treadmill, I can take you out while your mother isn't watching kid. Be careful!My attempt on the jungle gym doesn't resemble a whippet. It's more like a bull dog with a breathing problem.Trying to get around the combination of tube slides and a well of plastic balls, I became painfully aware that they weren't as soft or as deep as they look when you dive in.I exited on all fours. The kids had a big smirk on their faces. I couldn't help but shout: “Get a life.”Ah but wait, there is more. Charles came up to me and said: “David get into your swimming trucks and join Rachel in the hot tub.”I trotted off and got changed and went into the Jacuzzi room.“Before you get in, Rachel would like to give you a little back rub,” I was told.Well, okay, if she must.As she's doing this, she comments on my muscular back and how hard I've worked today.It's then I realise this sweet kid has developed a crush on me and I'm going to have to let her down gently.We went down to the hot tub where she explained she was infatuated with me; that she saw me as a mature, muscular, sensitive, mysterious man, and those feelings had overwhelmed her.I'm was forced to explain that I was very touched she was a sweet kid but I was a happily married man.It was then that a tear formed in the corner of her eye and jolted me back to reality then again, it could have been the water from the Jacuzzi.Don't forget to watch the Sea View boot camp at the Reefs Hotel on www.royalgazette.com