There’s a general consensus on the Island that we need to be a loving community.The prevalence of gun violence and fatal stabbings have rocked many and caused widespread fear and anxiety among us.Radio talk shows have been filled with callers demanding tough action on the perpetrators of crimes with much support for cruel punishments like the cat-of-nine tails and sometimes even the death penalty.Counsellor Saadia Bean believes that much of the violence is rooted in “a frustration and need of self-care and self-awareness”.This doesn’t only rest with those engaging in criminal and violent behaviour.In fact many of us fail to look after ourselves as we should, and many of us beat ourselves up over myriad things.In doing so we often don’t gain any benefit and rather only succeed in making us feel incompetent or bad about ourselves.Mrs Bean, founder of the Family Intimacy Centre, has been a counsellor for more than 20 years.She believes that everyone is good at the core, that people waste their energy and don’t achieve their greater good when they don’t recognise and actively build on this knowledge.She is to host a one-day seminar, Maximising the Best of You, next month.She described it as a personal growth, self-care, empowerment and elevation event.“It’s about resilience,” she said. “Life keeps happening every day. How do we keep doing it? How do we maintain our resilience?“I am going to teach techniques and tools to achieve this and we will do it right there in the workshop.”The sessions are open to everyone. Mrs Bean believes they could benefit those in our community who are struggling with violence and its effects.“We will include self-definition and knowing how to access the best of yourself — the best of you,” she said. “Everyone has goodness.”Recognising and acknowledging this “goodness” within oneself is a first step to loving others and therefore building loving communities.Mrs Bean said stress is also a factor that greatly impacts us.“Everyone has goodness and everyone experiences stress. We will teach how you can get out of the stress loop,” she said.The “stress loop” she describes is the way many of us experience stress.We become worried about something and get so caught up in that worrying, that it perpetuates or escalates the stress itself.The result is not only mental upset but also serious physical conditions such as high blood pressure.According to Mrs Bean the secret lies in taking charge of your thoughts.“Sessions will cover how you get out of this stress loop and get into guiding your life and not being involved in those thoughts that overload us,” she said. “We will also address what you should do when the stressful thoughts first come.”The key to conquering stress is living completely in the present, she said. “We live in the past and in the future and that makes it difficult to live in the present.”Living this way often causes anxiety and fear, she added.“Living in the present gives us the power for now and the ability to make better decisions. Forming decisions based on who we are and the available beauty and power within, results in us creating solutions that really work.”The Family Intimacy Centre’s Maximising the Best of You seminar will take place on Saturday, May 12 from 8am to 5pm at WindReach in Warwick.The cost for the seminar, which includes lunch and workshop materials, is $100.Call 295-3762 or e-mail ficinfo@northrock.bm for more information.