After Patty settled down with her husband and decided they wanted to start a family, she thought it would all be smooth sailing from there.But after two years of trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant, her acupuncturist recommended she turn to a local support group called the Paperwhites.She said the group helped her cope with the frustration and hurt caused by several miscarriages. They eventually rejoiced with her when she became pregnant with her first child.An open infertility peer support group, Paperwhites was created to be a safe place where individuals and couples could go to share knowledge, feelings and hope.Sponsored by the Infertility Awareness Association of Canada, the group meets once monthly for residents and visitors alike. Their next meeting focuses on the spouses and will be held tomorrow at Spirit House on Middle Road in Devonshire, from 6pm until 7.30pm.Patty (not her real name) said they typically sit in a circle and spend time updating each other on where they are at currently in the fertility journey.“None of us are professionals but we just try to offer advice on different clinics and compare what the doctors say, our successes or failures with the clinics or IVF (In Vitro Fertilisation).”Patty, who currently leads the group, has found there are still some people who are hesitant about coming to the meetings.Sometimes residents get concerned that other people could find out about their ‘secret’ infertility issues, while men in particular tend to not want to talk about their feelings.But she explained that the members of the group are “very discreet” and are all facing a similar struggle.Even during her own time of need she said she paused when encouraged to come to the meetings and talk with others about her personal infertility challenges.“I took a couple of months before going to the meetings,” she said. “I was nervous about talking to people about my feelings because when I opened that door I was afraid of what [emotions] would come out.“But once I did talk about it, I felt so much better and there was so much support. I learned I wasn’t alone because there were so many other couples that were going through what I was.”Patty said her journey began several years back when she and her husband first started trying to have a baby. They imagined it would happen right away.But after a few months of not getting pregnant, she started researching options on the Internet and began taking nutritional supplements.“I did whatever I could try to do to fix things and after a year still nothing happened and that is when I went to my doctor to talk about getting help.”Her doctor prescribed a fertility drug called Chlomed; she also underwent six rounds of IVF. Patty and her husband had to grapple with a range of emotions after going through four miscarriages.She said: “The first one was the hardest because I assumed that when you get pregnant you are going to end up with a baby at the end of it.“We had already told our family and close friends and when I went in for my first ultrasound there was a heartbeat, but by the second [ultrasound visit] there wasn’t and we were told the baby had died.“The second one was also difficult for us because I thought it wouldn’t happen twice. The next two after that were hard, but I was better prepared.”The couple learned not to get too excited after getting a positive pregnancy test. Studies show the most common time when the pregnancy is lost happens within the first 12 weeks, known as the first-trimester.But this story has a happy ending for Patty and her husband, who gave birth to a beautiful son last year.“We invested thousands of dollars and years of heartache, but we are so thankful to have our baby boy,” she said. “We can’t believe he is here after waiting for so long and trying so hard.“It has been so positive for us and our families and we would love to give him a brother or sister one day.”She said the membership of the group changes throughout the year, depending on what the individual or couple is going through.Some people leave or take a break because they were successful in getting pregnant and sometimes they get new faces.She said people were welcome to come to the free meetings and often or as little as they like. For more information e-mail: paperwhites.bermuda@gmail.com.Useful website: http://www.paperwhitesbermuda.info/