I have noticed that this year (perhaps it’s been happening in previous years, but I just noticed it this time around the sun) Christmas advertisements and references to “the holidays” started showing up right after Halloween. Was this the cosmos playing a trick on us for a treat? If so, I wish somebody had popped a candy bar in its mouth and sent it packing. Before you know it we’ll be getting ready for Christmas right after Easter.

I do not mean to be a Scrooge, but for many people the holidays are not what they used to be. Not only is the commercialism ramping up sooner and sooner, but there is also a qualitative difference to celebrating as one grows older. When these folks were children, other people handled all the details — kept the appointments, sang in the choirs and lit the candles, packed the suitcases, made the reservations, decorated the houses, baked the cakes, bought and wrapped the presents, smiled to others no matter how miserable they felt inside, and then collapsed after it was over. Not now. Now, these other folks might be you.

Along with holiday cheer it has become customary to find articles on how to handle the stress. I suppose this is another one. But I’m really not suggesting a handful of quick steps to get you over the hurdle and turn fatigue into energy, frowns into smiles, and worry into hope. I don’t think life is quite that simple.

Having said that, there are resources you can take advantage of to cope and perhaps even to thrive. It depends on what you make of them.

Resource One: Your Spiritual Tradition

Philip Yancey has a great book titled “Rumours of Another World” in which he explores the possibility that life is more than “this world only”. Perhaps the holidays provide an opportunity to step back and ground yourself in what you believe about ultimate issues. Such reflection can provide an encouraging perspective, and then the holidays become a celebration packed with more significance than mere crass commercialism.

Resource Two: Your Social Support Network

I am talking about friends and family. I am even talking about the outer ring of such a network, people one might call associates or acquaintances. The social support network does not have to solve every gritty problem (in most cases it can’t), or become a tear-soaked sounding board for the most sensitive and intimate of conversations, but it can walk alongside and share the experience with you — eve from a comfortable distance. Associates can join you for a light respite at the club. If family is part of the problem, then even making use of your acquaintances to blow off steam can be a relief. If you don’t want alcohol to be part of the equation, then go for a walk with someone on the beach.

Resource Three: The Professional People Helpers Around You

You don’t have to go to a psychotherapist. You can go to a massage therapist and let that person literally press on the stress. You can go get your nails and hair done and dump it all on the stylist. You can ask a coach to help you set some goals for the holiday as a proactive strategy for dealing with what you know is coming up. However, if the stress of the holidays is related to long-term family dynamics and issues that have affected your emotions and sense of self for years, then by all means — consult a qualified psychologist. They have years of education and training for just such things, and if you develop a therapeutic relationship with such a person, it can be a resource that pays dividends throughout the year.

Ultimately, the holidays are what we make of them. My wife and I are going to visit my son who just moved to Michigan with his wife. They bought a huge house. We have shipped him the roll-top desk at which I worked when he was a child and the rocking chair in which I rocked him back to sleep at night when he was a baby. In one of the boxes he found the Bible I used for most of his childhood, and when he found it, he exclaimed: “Wow! Dad’s Bible.” Those are simple words that have decades of experience loaded up in them.

In that context, I intend to honour the gift of my Heavenly Father of His Son to take away the sins of the world. When I was a child, that meant nothing to me, but when I grew up it began to mean the most important thing to me.

If I need her to support me, I’m going to lean on my wife, a budding, professional people helper in the field of coaching. It’s not that I might want her to be my coach; that would be too complicated and a dual relationship — not good for either of us. It’s just that she’s a pretty good listener who cares about me, and she’s got some skills. That’s a good kind of person to have around.

I intend to enjoy the cold weather; that kind of cold is not to be found in Bermuda, and I love to bundle up, drink coffee, and talk with people I find interesting and that I love. I’m going to treat myself to a rich mix of experiences, and I’m going to create a memory. Among the boxes we’ve sent to Michigan are pictures of the kids when they were growing up. We’ll go through them, and we’ll remember what we lived through with one another — some easy and some quite difficult. We’ll look up from those pictures and from recalling the past, and we’ll see one another in the present, and we’ll take at least a mental picture of Christmas 2013.

So, okay. In writing this I am now in the holiday mood. Bring on Bing Crosby and “White Christmas.” Bring on Cary Grant, Loretta Young, and “The Bishop’s Wife” or the remake called “The Preacher’s Wife” with Denzel Washington and Whitney Houston. Bring on “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Bring on “The Greatest Story Ever Told”, which is a story of the greatest Christmas ever had. My wish for all who read this is for a positive and significant experience that matters as you traverse the demands of these holidays.