The media have consistently demonstrated women who are victims of sexual assault as people that are withdrawn, unable to be touched, grappling with flashbacks and overall as a stereotypical “damsel in distress”. We think that it makes it easier for people to understand; you would expect that after something of this magnitude occurs, this is how a person would act. It falls in line with the way that society has constructed women — fragile and weak — so it tends to be more widely accepted. However, what’s unspoken is the victims who cope with substances, promiscuity and other self-harming behaviours. These victims are outcasts to society, leaving them prime to vulnerable situations with opportunistic men.

Somewhere along the line, we as a society have become more judgmental of the situations that people are in than the acts that caused them to be in that place. Anger can be a useful emotion, if directed at the correct target. We have normalised gossiping about the woman who sleeps with a multitude of men and the children that are drinking at an increasingly younger age without questioning the occurrences that may have taken place in their life that caused them to make these decisions. People don’t tend to walk around with a sticker saying, “Hi, my name is Sarah and I’ve been abused”, but we must think critically about the behaviours we so readily cast judgment on. Research has proved that there is no “one size fits all” response to traumatic events and many victims will even experience different cycles of responses; meaning they may have been initially afraid of touch but later became promiscuous. But instead of getting mad at victims for how they respond to trauma, we should direct our anger at the perpetrators of the trauma.

We want to delve further into the psychology behind hypersexuality after experiencing sexual assault. When someone is sexually assaulted, they have lost control of their bodily autonomy. They were forced to do something that they did not wish to do. Hypersexuality can be seen as a coping mechanism to deal with loss of control: by choosing to engage in sexual conduct with people, they can regain a sense of the power that they had lost. It allows them to say “yes” in a situation where they had previously said “no” and had to engage against their will. This also explains why many victims of sexual assault are less likely to say “no”, even in situations where they do not wish to engage in sexual conduct. There is a great fear that their “no” will not be respected, so agreeing allows them to maintain a sense of security — albeit fragile.

Furthermore, partying and the use of drugs and alcohol are common among survivors who are desperately searching for a way to cope with the immense pain that they are suffering. Healthy ways of coping, such as therapy, are often expensive, while alcohol provides a cheap and quick solution to numb the pain. The judgment that these individuals face from society further alienates them and continues a cyclical pattern of unhealthy behaviours.

One part of breaking these patterns is changing the way that we as Bermudians respond to these behaviours, to change the tone from one of condescension to compassion. It is important that these survivors feel supported in society and are allowed to integrate fully, despite the deviation from societal norms. We must build a Bermuda that is built on the advocacy for their healing, not the whispers of their struggles.

• Join PurpleMent on October 11 at 8am on The Daily Hour to discuss mental health and The Diary of A Psycho Hippie by Cloudy Muse. The Diary of A Psycho Hippie can be purchased from Bermuda Bookstore at 3 Queen Street, Hamilton and SJD World at Somers Building, 15 Front Street, Hamilton for $20