I love my kids. Not just in an I-love-chocolate kind of way, but in an earth-shattering, heart-stopping, life-defining way. They are absolutely the apex of my world. And they are also disgusting.
I j...
Once upon a time this was a serious column. It didn’t last long. At the end of my first month I realised you were never going to read about lentils unless I made it funny. No-one likes to be told what...
The LH has been teaching Chloe our phone number in case she gets lost. “But daddy,” she said, “maybe I should have a credit card …. you know, just in case.” It was a nice try. Later, I asked her what ...
The jet-setting LH is away again. I explained that it’s not a part-time position but was met with a withering look, whoops! Nevertheless, it was well-timed as we have continued to destroy the kitchen ...
“Mummy,” said Chloe, on the way home from the beach, “I want to go to a naked party!” Unfortunately I was mid-swig from my water bottle. If you have ever considered an in-car sinus wash, I don’t recom...
“Darling,” said my mother, holding up the one naughty thong that I own, “is this washable?” And so began Super Granny’s stay. Oh don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the help, but how is it possible ...
All children have underdeveloped social filters, with Chloe being no exception. You may remember her very loud conversation about — how shall I put this — male anatomy, during a quiet moment in La Tra...
All children have underdeveloped social filters, with Chloe being no exception. You may remember her very loud conversation about — how shall I put this — male anatomy, during a quiet moment in La Tra...
Naughty Nana has arrived to stay and the naughtiness is already out of control. I arrived home to find the kids elbow deep in her make up bag, powdering their noses and applying lip gloss. I then disc...
Reaching under the bed to retrieve a hair clip and pulling out a cockroach was not an ideal way to start the day. It has however extended little Belle’s vocabulary. She now says “DUCK!” whenever she s...
