Most parents would just like a straight answer on whether technology and digital media is good or bad for their children.

Bermudian researcher Katie Davis knows just how frustrating the answer “it’s complicated” can be.

“When I became a parent six years ago I realised that a vague answer is not particularly helpful,” Dr Davis said.

To help parents, she has just released a book Technology’s Child – Digital Media’s Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up.

“I wanted to bring something concrete to the research on kids and technology,” Dr Davis said. “There are no set answers, but what I am offering in this book is a framework for thinking about and understanding a child’s experience with digital technology.”

She will be giving a talk about her book on Thursday at the Bermuda National Gallery.

Dr Davis has lived in Seattle, Washington, on and off since 2012. There, she directs the University of Washington’s Digital Youth Lab, a research project looking at the role of technology in young people’s lives.

“My book looks at the full arc of child development from toddler to 20-something,” Dr Davis said. “It looks at the role that technology plays for better, and sometimes for worse.”

The pandemic changed the world’s perspective on technology, she added.

“Before the pandemic we were asking ‘Are screens good or bad?’ or ‘How much time should I let my child have with a screen?’ The pandemic quickly made us realise that technology is central to our lives. Now I think we are ready to get more nuanced in the question and ask when is technology supporting child development and when is it not.”

She has spent the last 20 years researching the topic but it became a lot more personal when her son Oliver was born in 2016.

“I am a single parent,” Dr Davis said. “I knew that no television or digital media was not going to be an option.”

Instead, she has tried to steer Oliver towards positive experiences where he is learning something and is actively engaged.

“But all of his experiences are not going to be equally wonderful,” Dr Davis said. “There are plenty of times he just sits in front of the television and chills. I do the same. We have down time.”

She does, however, have parental controls set up on Netflix and YouTube.

“I am mindful of how much time is spending with technology,” she said. “I think about what activities technology might be displacing for him. I never let it come between us and nightly reading. It becomes part of the rhythm of our day, hopefully in a balanced way.”

When it comes to deciding technology questions for her son, such as how much television he watches or what games he can play, she looks at whether a parent, caregiver or teacher could be involved or whether the experience is self-directed.

“I prefer technology experiences that put children in the driver’s seat,” Dr Davis said. “This is when they are calling the shots and they have control over their attention.”

A positive, self-directed action for a teenager would be watching a YouTube video to develop their own interests, such as cooking or music.

Not so great is a teenager mindlessly scrolling through their social media feed and feeling excluded by posts of friends posing with other friends without them.

“Parents have an important role to play in helping teens to understand what they are seeing online and on social media,” Dr Davis said. “If they are feeling bad about what they are seeing, parents have to help them reframe that. For example, they can explain how filters and special lighting is used to make people look their best in social media posts.”

But she said social media can also be a source of support for young people who are marginalised or who are exploring their identities.

She admitted that it is not always easy for parents to follow what their children are seeing through digital media, particularly when they are older.

“No one can be the perfect digital parent,” Dr Davis said. “We should aim for being a ‘good enough’ digital parent. There is so much pressure on parents, not just with technology. We have to make sure they have enriching activities and are on track to getting into college and that extends into technology.”

She pointed to research by paediatrician Donald Winnicott showing that being the perfect parent might not be desirable anyway. If you are always there to solve your child’s problems that might delay them learning to do it themselves.

“Good enough digital parents do their best, but not every experience will be equally amazing and that is OK,” Dr Davis said. “Observe and be really tuned into your child, and adjust as you need.”

Most important for parents is to set ground rules.

“In my house we have a rule that between breakfast and dinner there are no screens, unless he is sick, or I am sick, or we are travelling,” she said.

She has also disabled auto play on his tablet. That means that if her son is watching YouTube another video will not automatically start as soon as the first one finishes.

“Auto play is a dark pattern in design,” Dr Davis said. “It is there to keep you watching. Oliver knows when the show ends it will not advance automatically. I am very tuned into how long the show is that he is watching. I get ready five minutes before it ends and warn him. You can also set timers for the device itself.”

This is Dr Davis’ third book. She will speak at the Bermuda National Gallery on Thursday at 6pm. Tickets, $20 for BNG members and $35 for non-members, are available at bng.bm/katie-davis. Technology’s Child is available at Bermuda Bookstore. For more information see katiedavisresearch.com.