Men are seeking help as they struggle to escape their ex-girlfriends who just won’t leave them alone.The Centre Against Abuse is currently experiencing an increased amount of calls from men who are being stalked by women they used to date.They say they are being bombarded with calls, text messages and e-mails from their exes who also turn up at their homes and places of work.The men want to know how they can make it clear that the relationship has ended without anyone getting hurt.Laurie Shiell, executive director of the Centre Against Abuse, said they had noticed the trend of “women not wanting to leave relationships” over the last few months.She said: “More males are coming to us wanting assistance saying that their exes are still chasing them.“Men are being harassed via phone calls, texts and e-mails. Their ex-girlfriends and ex-wives are also showing up unannounced at home and work.“The men just want to know how they can move forward safely as they are concerned about things becoming volatile.“They don’t want the relationship anymore, they want a clean, healthy break and want to go about it the right way”.The charity’s trained counsellors take the time to listen to the circumstances, then offer advice to men about how to effectively communicate with their exes. They are told the aim is to “keep calm and stay safe”.In some cases men are advised to send summary offence letters, which are effectively ‘stay away’ orders, or even take out protection orders.Ms Shiell added: “People wrongly assume that our work is just women making complaints about men.“But we just keep seeing these types of situations where women don’t want to get out of relationships, they refuse to accept it’s over.“They continually want things on their terms. It’s like ‘If I can’t have you, I don’t want anyone else to have you’.”The Centre Against Abuse is also gearing up for its usual spike of calls from abused men and women after the “very stressful” festive period.They believe the new year brings many victims “a new mindset that they are not going to put up with things any longer”.Ms Shiell said: “It always slows right down right before Christmas, as everyone concentrates on the family time, but things always heat up in the new year. It’s always very busy for us”.Staff take calls 24 hours a day, seven days a week, offering crisis intervention, individual and group counselling and the island’s only shelter for women and children.The charity also prides itself on being proactive and going out into the community to educate people about abuse before it actually happens.Staff have visited salons, prisons, schools, police stations and the King Edward VII Memorial Hospital to warn people to look out for the telltale signs of abuse.The charity continues to appeal for store vouchers and monetary donations as “the hardships are worse than ever right now”.People often turn up on with nothing other than clothes they are wearing after they’ve fled abusive homes. Many women and children also leave the charity’s safe house having to start from scratch in new homes.Ms Shiell said: “We just want to make an appeal to the community to help in any way they can.“Our clients need food, clothing and every day items such as post and pans”.Everyone is said to have a part to play in eradicating abuse by speaking up about what is going on behind closed doors.The charity is seeing the benefits of its community work as victims are turning up saying friends or relatives have referred them.But Ms Shiell would like to see more places of worship setting up domestic abuse programmes as “church is the first place many people want to go to seek help”.She said: “We just want to make as many people as we can aware of domestic violence.“We want to change people’s mindset and want people to recognise that help is available.“We have an open-door policy and we here for both victims and batterers”.If you want to make a donation, you can visit the Centre Against Abuse at 58 North Shore Road in Hamilton Parish, from Monday to Friday from 9:30am to 5pmFor more information on the Centre Against Abuse call 292-4366, e-mail info[AT]centreagainstabuse.bm or visit the website at www.abusefree.org. Call the 24-hour hotline on 297-8278 or the men’s crisis hotline on 332-1293.