Parents outraged by the proliferation of gun violence and murder in Bermuda have spoken out on the downside of social networking and the revealing of a murder victim’s identity before their loved ones hear the news.The murder of Stefan Burgess, the 24-year-old father of one who was gunned down last Sunday night on Glebe Road, Pembroke, sparked another flood of posts on Facebook and the instant messaging circuit.But his identity, like the identity of several previous murder victims, was posted online before his next of kin had been official notified. Instant messages were reaching as far as the United Kingdom while this year’s first gun murder in Bermuda was unfolding.A random sampling of Facebook users in Bermuda told The Royal Gazette that social networking is as common here as it is elsewhere, but they all agreed it is not the right place to discover a close relative or friend has been killed.Nicole DeSilva, who said: “The only thing worse than having a friend or relative lose their life tragically is finding out through Facebook gossip or via instant messaging. Those who choose to spread information through this medium are clearly gossip hungry and have no value for discretion or empathy for those who are grieving. Not to mention the fact that if there was any truth to that info to start with, it becomes very distorted very quickly. It only takes one or two people to add their spin to the story.”Another to give an opinion was Eugene Walker, who said: “I think it is very wrong to release the identity of those involved in the shootings before the families are contacted. I personally would not want to find out my close family member or friend had been shot or otherwise hurt via a post on Facebook. Those who do that are very inconsiderate.”That sentiment was echoed by Erica Rance Mill, who commented: “Regardless of today being the age of technology I think posting the name is insensitive. That being said many of youth use tools such as Facebook and Blackberry Messenger as a method of expressing their feelings they tend to say R.I.P. (name). I saw it recently when my sons lost a close friend, it was their way of mourning.”“I am definitely against people being allowed to post them on news sites such as TheRoyal Gazette and Bernews. One should hold off mentioning a name until it has been announced that next of kin have been notified perhaps a good topic to discuss in our classrooms and over the table during family dinners.”One Facebook member, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said: “I personally hate it and wish there was a way to stop it. Perhaps if there was a law put in place where people charged for releasing information to others before the proper authorities did. And some of these people are police officers or civilians who work for the Bermuda Police Service.”Another Facebook user commented: “As a young adult in Bermuda I think it’s terrible that people reveal that sort of information. The poor family needs time to deal with what happened to their loved one. At the same time if I found out about the death of one of my loved ones like that it would be horrible. If people want to show respect for whoever passed away they need not use names. A simple R.I.P. would suffice.”Well-known talk show host Linda Mello said bluntly: “The problem is people do not bother to use what is between their ears. By naming victims before family members shows a blatant disregard for the feelings of the relatives left behind. Too bad they can’t be charged for this kind of action.”Carla Saunders Zuill, said: “I think it’s terrible who post and tweet names so quickly without any consideration of the love ones of the deceased. I experienced that last summer when my godbrother, who I was very close with, died suddenly. Someone posted condolences on my FB wall and I had no clue what they were talking about because I’d been mobile that entire morning. I know the person meant no harm but it was not a pleasant experience and I would never wish that on anybody.”“I think social networkers need to exercise more prudence and consideration during times like these. I think it’s okay to say R.I.P. dear friend, my boy, a great dad whatever. But to name them before it is officially announced is just plain irresponsible. They have to stop and think about the victim’s loved ones.”While Shari-Lynn Pringle said: “Finding out about the death of a family member or loved one via any source other than a family member, close friend or the police has to just crush someone, but it really doesn’t change the end result. Is it any more horrific than finding the person yourself?”“How do you teach an entire country no world to be more caring, compassionate, considerate? When we figure that out, we might not have another murder. I long to return to the days of none a year in Bermuda.”She added: “I try to imagine how I would feel if this happened to me and I suppose I can’t know until it happens, but I don’t think my sorrow, shock or pain would be any more intense. No matter how I find out the person will still be dead. I think we get mad at the wrong things. We get mad because some of these next of kin are withholding information from the police that could have saved their loved ones life.”“We get mad because all of their so-called ‘bredren’ know nothing. We stay mad longer than the customary story in The Royal Gazette, Bermuda Sun and TV news. Make your family name a household name through action towards restoring peace because no one deserves to die like this young man and so many others have no matter how they live.”