Ah, family dinnertime. A true heaven or hell experience. When the children were little, I would sometimes look around the table – as the meal I had lovingly made was being not-so lovingly rejected – and want to cry.

Always at the end of a long day, I would be caught in the age-old conundrum: fill the children up on cereal and yoghurt and be almost guaranteed a perfect night’s sleep, or stick to my principles, not give in to the requests for something else, but worry that those empty tummies would stay awake all night long. Children just sleep so much better when they are well-fed, don’t they?!

However, as time marched on, the few joyful family dinners began to grow in number. I learnt how to accommodate likes/dislikes without cooking something different for everyone.

The children were old enough to become involved with choosing, planning and preparing. And most enjoyably, the conversation around the table became more interesting and fun.

These days, there are definitely times when I sense the mood in the house is most suited to a TV dinner, but more often than not we head to the table.

Research shows us that children who grow up having meals around a table with older family members have an increased vocabulary and a better sense of belonging.

Also, even if teens enjoy crappy snacks or junk food, we know that those who grow up with wholesome family meals are more likely to make healthy meals as an adult. And, all people (children and adults) eat more appropriate portion sizes when they are at the table.

Even with conversation, a table experience is a more mindful experience – meaning that the brain receives more pleasure signals and becomes satisfied more quickly. All of that seems pretty motivating!

If you have drifted from the table because dinner in front of the TV just seems easier, I hear ya. If you are struggling to prepare one meal that everyone will enjoy, rest assured I have been there.

But if you like the idea of coming back to the table with the children – and it actually being fun – here are some tips that I have found helpful for me and many of my clients. Feel free to add your own tips in the comments too!

Joyful family dinners! Eight top tips:

1, Build up an appetite

Letting your children snack like mad after-school is a great way to keep them quiet while you prep dinner, but a great way to self-sabotage in the process. If your children tell you they are not hungry at dinner time, try to keep a lid on snacks beforehand. If they are “starving” and “about to die” then dish out options which aren’t especially filling: try some fresh veggie sticks and hummus. A little non-GMO/organic popcorn could work too. But bear in mind this expression – “appetite is the best seasoning!” – children will be much more ready to eat and try new things if they are actually hungry!

2, Go before you go!

For little children! This was mandatory in our house when the children were small. They had to pee and wash their hands before they sat down.

I lost count of the number of times my little fidgeters used the bathroom as an excuse to get up and wander around. There is no arguing with the call of a No 2, though … (good luck with that!)

3, No phones or toys but games are OK

This rule applies to grown-ups and children. No phones, no toys, no distractions from each other. However, playing a verbal game or two can be fun especially if you are struggling to get conversation going and easy games can be a great way to get anyone who has had a bad day out of their funk.

Simple things like “I spy” work well or what we call the “close your eyes” game. Basically, the first player picks someone to close their eyes and then asks them an observation question.

Something like “what colour is Mum’s top?” or “there’s a painting on the wall behind you, what is it of?”

We play “guess the animal” too. Someone thinks of an animal and then the rest of us ask questions (yes or no answers only) that help us narrow it down. Does it live in Africa? Is it cute? Can you have it as a pet? Does it fly? Does it have four legs?

The winner gets to pick an animal next. Older children tend to like the “would you rather?” game … “would you rather live in a rainforest or the mountains?”, “would you rather plan a surprise for someone or be surprised?”, “if you could only pick one, would you rather pick one big Christmas present or a stocking with little gifts?”

4, Thumbs-up

When I ran a children’s summer camp, we asked the children to try a range of new foods every day. We then asked for their opinion and they gave it as thumbs-up, thumbs on the side or thumbs-down.

We did this because if one child said something like “that’s disgusting!” not only can that be rude in the wrong context, but it also encouraged others to say the same thing.

Providing a more neutral feedback mechanism seemed to make the children much more open to expressing their own genuine opinion.

Children do love to be consulted and if they feel included in the dinner process, they are much more likely to be invested.

Trying/testing food can be fun even if they don’t always love everything they try. The goal is to remain open to trying, so try not to be upset/disappointed if children try something and don’t like it the first time.

Second, many children like to stick only to foods they love, and they need to be encouraged to still eat things that are “thumbs on the side”.

No one should be pushed to eat anything they find actually “thumbs down”, but eating foods that are simply “OK”, is just a part of real life!

5, Avoid waste

This is an idiot button for many parents. It’s hard to watch food go in the trash when you spent time preparing it and when it’s expensive.

So, try to introduce new foods with foods that are already popular. Eg if you want to try asparagus, try it with chicken nuggets and oven fries (or any other favourite) and just offer one spear.

That way, children can still fill up on food they like, and the waste ratio is low. If the entire meal is new (let’s say you are trying something like Shepherds Pie) then just offer a very small portion to start with.

Maybe have lots of favourite vegetables and garlic bread on the side so if they don’t like it, they can still fill up.

6, Make one meal. But deconstruct it if necessary

Preparing different meals for different family members isn’t fair or feasible. Let everyone know that you are preparing one meal from now on and that dinner, is dinner!

However, deconstructing things can make things easier for everyone as you adjust. For example, the adults might have a salad Nicoise, but the children might have the separate components of that if they prefer.

They could have a boiled egg, some green beans, some tuna, small potatoes and olives/tomatoes/cucumber – allow them to assemble a kind of “pick n mix” before you throw it all together! This also works well for meals like stir fry or noodle bowls.

7, Plan but avoid open-ended questions

For the one meal concept to work, it helps if everyone’s favourites are incorporated at some point.

For example, one child might not love salmons bowls, but so long as they know their favourite is on the menu later that week, they will still be open to having someone else’s.

Try including the children as you plan meals and ask for their suggestions – but be careful not to ask an open-ended question (such as “what would you like for dinner?”) if you are not prepared to make them anything they wish for.

You don’t want to shoot them down in this process as we build up interest and excitement over family dinners again.

Instead, you could say “I know you love X and X, which would you like me to include on the menu this week?”

8, Keep it simple

If you like experimenting with new and adventurous recipes, go for it! But don’t feel pressured to do something fancy. There’s nothing wrong with baked potatoes, omelettes or soup for dinner.

Just try and get in a side of veggies or a salad too. Try bulk cooking at the weekend so that you can store extras in the freezer.

It makes your day more relaxing if you know that dinner is already defrosting in the fridge. And there’s nothing wrong with take out occasionally.

The idea is to just get everyone back around the table, and if you need to take a short cut sometimes, that’s fine! My biggest tip with take out is to make a side salad anyway – it takes seconds to do and provides such a great dose of nutrients and fibre.

• The advice given in this article is not intended to replace medical advice, but to complement it. Always consult your GP if you have any health concerns. Catherine Burns BA Hons, Dip ION, BNTA is a fully qualified Nutritional Therapist trained by the Institute for Optimum Nutrition in the UK She works at Waterfront Wellness in Bermuda. Join Catherine on Facebook: www.facebook.com/nutrifitandnaturalnutritionbermuda or instagram @naturalbda