Darren Clarke joked that his not-so-easy-on-the-eye scorecard was so bad he was considering turning to drink for answers.Clarke, no stranger chugging pints of Guinness, and did so after clinching the Open, finished yesterday’s Grand Slam opening round a miserable six-over-par.Already ten shots behind joint leaders Keegan Bradley and Rory McIlroy, Clarke planned on unwinding with a few ‘Black and Tans’ last night, safe in the knowledge he couldn’t possibly play as badly again today.“You know, I’ve just been struggling with my swing. It’s not quite what I want to do, and I’m struggling with my ball striking at the moment. So if you mix that with putting equally as bad, that usually doesn’t add up to a good score,” said Clarke, who at 42 is the elder statesman of the elite foursome.“So, anyway. I’ll try to find the answer in the bottom of a glass this evening and see how that works.“But mind you after 77, I should probably stay out a little later than planned because I probably I couldn’t do any worse tomorrow, but we’ll see.”So ragged was Clarke’s overall game yesterday, he admitted he felt like a drop of the hard stuff midway through the back nine.“Yes, I was very tempted to jump over that wall, yes, and go get a Guinness,” said Clarke, referring to an advertisement displaying his favourite Irish tipple near the 14th.“Jump being the operative word. It was just one of those sort of days. I played poorly and I have not hit the ball any good, really, since the Open.“Obviously I did well at The Open, but I saw a lot of things that I didn’t like and I’ve tried to fix them since and obviously it’s gone the other way.”The Northern Irishman, famed for his jovial nature, pulled no punches in his assessment of his out-of-sorts performance.“Crap, absolute crap,” was Clarke’s colourful description of his disappointing display although he maintained he was still enjoying his first trip to Bermuda.“I didn’t come all the way here to play that bad. It was crap, absolute crap,” said Clarke, who shot four bogeys and a triple bogey at hole 16.“As I said I didn’t come all the way here to play that badly, having a bad day, what am I going to do, lose my temper and start throwing clubs? I’m here as a major champion. It’s a wonderful event and I’m proud to be part of it.”Like all of this year’s quartet, Clarke is making his Grand Slam debut and is determined to make the most of his experience regardless of how he fares in today’s final round.“The other guys are all playing well, and Keegan and Rory, especially Charl, who was playing lovely and just sort of lost his way; maybe he was watching me a little bit too much and lost his way on the back nine there.“But it’s good to be here this week. So albeit I played pretty crap, it’s a privilege to be here and I’m enjoying every minute of it.”