Pete Saunders was often called a “sissy” because he was friendly to gay people.

He didn’t let it bother him. And then two men in his college dorm in Jamaica were attacked because people suspected they were homosexuals.

“They were beaten terribly and at least one ended up in the hospital,” he said.

“The scare of that event made me think I really had to be careful of even speaking to gay people. It made me feel like I almost had to pretend to be really manly because being sensitive was seen as more of a feminine or homosexual trait.”

Mr Saunders couldn’t stop wondering why everybody didn’t just get along.

The question was one of several raised at BraveHeart Movement, a retreat he hosted with American Michael Miller. The two planned the event after they got to talking at a life coach training course in New York.

Thirty-two men from the United States and Bermuda attended the spiritual workshops and coaching sessions that were spread over three-and-a-half days on Paget Island.

“The whole purpose was to get these men to identify their purpose and gift, which we called their ‘super power’,” Mr Saunders said. “We had workshops in voice training and how men can work to bring their message to the world. We also had workshops on performing masculinity and identifying your differentness.

“I think when we treat other people — Bermudian, non-Bermudian, rich, poor, black and white — in these oppressive violent and derogative ways, what we’re really saying is ‘This world is just for me’. And that’s not true, we are all here for a purpose.” Although it wasn’t planned, the retreat helped gay and straight men in attendance share stories about their lives and experiences.

“For both sides — the gay and the straight men — I think there was some reluctance and hesitation of being in a community with the other,” Mr Saunders said. “For all of us that had never happened before. If they were gay, they had never been in such an intimate space with straight men and vice versa, so this was a space they got to bring their differentness and learn how alike we really are. We had some of the participants say this was really transformative for them because it was the first time they had ever been embraced or loved by straight men.”

Rick Haley, a 55-year-old Nebraska resident, said the retreat boosted his confidence and changed how he related to family, friends and co-workers.

He decided to attend because he was dissatisfied with work at his small automobile repair business.

“I was hoping to find the next chapter in my life,” he said. “I wasn’t sure what to expect and was extremely nervous as this kind of retreat was something I’d never done before.

“In fact, when I saw the article from my coach about the retreat I signed up right away because I knew if I thought about it for very long I’d find some excuse not to go. I knew if I committed right away I wouldn’t back out despite the fear.

“What I found at the retreat was a group of amazing men who were all basically looking for a better, more fulfilling life just like me. We all found the environment very conducive to opening up and talking about anything, sharing our fears and dreams — no barriers, no labels, no judgments.”

Mr Saunders and Mr Miller wanted to create a space where men could feel comfortable sharing personal stories.

“I expected men to do deep work on themselves and connect, but it was far better than I imagined,” Mr Miller said.

“It was beautiful. There was a huge amount of play and fun during the weekend.

“The men got along so well it was contagious and a brotherhood without barriers was formed. The results the men created during and after the retreat were phenomenal too.”

Mr Saunders said he also left with a greater appreciation of what it means to be a man, father and husband.

• The next BraveHeart Men’s Retreat will happen next spring. For more information visit: www.wearebravehearts.com.