Dear Sir,

Almost every time, I leave my house I am faced with harassment from men. The main types of harassment I face include unsolicited sexualised comments directed at me while either walking or riding my moped, leering, catcalling, and honking of moped horns.

I will briefly describe some of my own personal experiences to emphasise the scale of this problem. I have lived in a particular parish for more than five years, and various men now recognise me there. Having identified me as a young and vulnerable target in their minds, they will yell “hey, sweetie”, “where are you going” or “suck my d***” when they see me, despite me having never engaged with them. This problem is not limited to my parish. Today (Sunday, July 23), walking in Flatts, a man said he “would take that” as I walked by and, noticing my boyfriend only afterwards, asked him if I was his.

Every woman has hundreds of stories of exposure to this kind of behaviour — and worse.

It is regrettable in 2023, on our island with a reputation for friendliness, that women must live with this reality. While I try to maintain my self-confidence, sadly this level of street harassment has led to me feeling “on edge” when I go out, and even limits my ability to be in public. It’s disgusting that I sometimes avoid simple tasks, such as walking to the grocery store, for fear that some harasser might confront me.

The men who do this make the world a worse place for women. The reason they do it is not because they think an interaction like this will lead to any meaningful connection between him and his victim — but it is borne from a sense of entitlement to women’s time and attention, and allows him to feel, for a moment, like he has power over her.

To the men who do this, I urge you to consider the cost of choosing to interact with women in a predatory way. It costs you dignity and self-respect, just as it costs your victims dignity and self-respect.

To all men, I urge you to create a culture of respect in your communities. The sad but true fact is that men who harass women will not listen to other women’s opinions about their worth, but only to the opinions of other men.

To the women who have to deal with this on a day-to-day basis, hang in there.

FAE SAPSFORD

Editor’s note: The Royal Gazette has waived the requirement for the author’s resident parish to be published to provide her a degree of security