I have been, with some colleagues, friends and associates, deliberating on where we have gone wrong with the state of MEN, especially black men.A few months ago I was chatting with some brothers at Marsden First United Methodist Church on this very subject and we had a lively debate which was so inspiring that we decided to hold a forum next Tuesday, May 10 at 7.30pm, to discuss the issue and put men on the right path to being better husbands, fathers and leaders just like we used to be back in the day. More on this after the Top 20.Up to #1 is Who’s that Chick? by David Guetta featuring Rihanna. Tumbling to #2 is Memories, by David Guetta featuring Kid Cudi, popular dance/club anthem that just makes the people dance and sing along. Improving to #3 is Higher, by Taio Cruz featuring Kylie Minogue and Travie McCoy.Up to #4 is Moment For Life by Nicki Minaj. Nicki is hot and I was impressed with her performance at the BET Awards and she even recently performed it live on ‘Dancing With The Stars’.Advancing to #5 is Rihanna’s current hit, S&M, which is simply continued excellence from the Queen of Pop. Slipping to #6 is Hold It Against Me by Brittney Spears, who gets my vote for comeback artist of the year.Climbing to #7 is a former essential new tune, Born This Way by Lady Gaga. Slipping to #8 is Aston Martin Music by Rick Ross featuring Drake and Chrisette Michelle. Falling to #9 is Grenade by Bruno Mars.Tumbling to #10 is Firework by Katy Perry. Improving to #11 is this week is Look At Me Now by Chris Brown featuring L’il Wayne and Busta Rhymes.Climbing to #12 is ET by Katy Perry featuring Kanye West, a former essential selection. Walkin, by Mary Mary, still DJLT’s favourite track, advances to #13.Climbing to #14 is 6 Foot 7 Foot by L’il Wayne featuring Cory Gunz. I can’t get enough of the beat of this track.Advancing to #15 is On The Floor by Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull. This is a solid track; not outstanding but OK.Slipping to #16 is Better Than Today by Kylie Minogue. Sliding to #17 this week is What’s My Name? by Rihanna featuring Drake.Improving to #18 is this week’s essential hew dance hit, Judas by Lady Gaga. Up to # 19 is Just Can’t Get Enough by the Black Eyed Peas. Tumbling to #20 is F**k You (Forget You) by Cee Lo Green.I don’t like this song and unless I hear an outstanding remix it’s gone.Now back to this week’s topic what went wrong.Bermudian MEN are the descendants of successful leaders, business owners, preachers, sportsmen, masons, carpenters, ship builders, musicians, politicians, husbands and fathers. What Went Wrong?There are a litany of things that have conspired to cause men, especially black men, to be in the paltry state in which so many of us find ourselves.I’m going to share some painful truths that will offend some, but a wise friend of mine shared with me this lyric, “The Truth May Offend; but it is still the Truth”. So here goes.I happened upon some staggering statistics about trends in the black family.The numbers come from the US but I submit that they apply to Bermuda.You don’t need to do a survey to confirm it, all you have to do is open your door, get from under your rock; and be honest about what’s happening.To summarise, the problems with black men and the black family are:l 70 percent of all black children are born out of wedlockl 65 percent of never-married black women have children; double the rate of white womenl By age 30, only 52 percent of black women will marry compared to 81 percent of white women and 77 percent of Hispanics and Asiansl 62 percent of black families with children are headed by a single parentl 85 percent of black children do not live in a home with their fathersl Only 15 to 20 percent of black children born today will grow up with two parents until age 16l Over 80 percent of long-term child poverty occurs in broken or never-married homesl 70 percent of African American boys in the criminal justice system come from single-parent homesl 43 percent of all black children are aborted, nearly three times higher than white childrenl 67 percent of black women with AIDS in America contracted it through heterosexual sexl Black men on the ‘down low’ are having sex with other men behind the backs of their wives and girlfriendsl Black men engage in polygamous relationships; 3.5 times that of whites and Hispanicsl 57 percent of blacks profess to be ‘born again’ Christiansl 83 percent say religious faith is very importantl Only ten percent of blacks believe moral truth is absolute, compared to 26 percent of whites and Hispanics.From this, we can conclude that blacks believe in God but do not practice the tenets of Christianity in their daily living. Also, sexual promiscuity is the common thread traceable throughout the shredded fabric of the black family.It is rampant from pulpit to pew to politician. Promiscuity has decimated black marriage.Promiscuity has resulted in a level of fatherlessness unprecedented in modern history and perhaps in world history, producing:l explosive anger;l rebellion against all authority;l a rampant drug trade;l murder and violence baffling law enforcement;l prisons filled with black men whose confused lives are torn to shreds, without hope and determined that someone will pay.As stated at the outset, the statistics came from America but the behaviours and outcomes are identical to what is happening in Bermuda TODAY.To this end, the MEN of Marsden First United Methodist Church are hosting a forum at our church on Tuesday at 7.30pm; so that we as MEN can discuss all of these issues and set us back on the path to MEN reclaiming their God-given places as heads of families, captains of industry, leaders of communities, role models and law-abiding citizens.Guest speakers are Lt Col Eddie Lamb and Charles Clarke. All are welcome. This is important and we hope to see many in attendance. Peace ... DJLT