Mom, the financial controller of the house, nurturer, life partner, and career focused. In the old days, this is how it worked. Dad, or Mom’s partner, went out to work everyday, bringing home a packet of cash at the end of the week. The money was divvied up according to priority and obligation.On specified days, cash was carefully taken to town to settle bills, and secure necessities. Labeled envelopes, the proverbial cookie jar and other mechanisms were used to sort and protect this hard-earned life source. In a society that was not yet accustomed to bank accounts or credit, cash had to be closely guarded from prying eyes, furtive hands, and unscrupulous individuals.This responsibility was generally assumed by Mom, the CEO manager of the family (long before this acronym was so commonly used). She had to manage the money, carefully budgeting all purchases, while hoarding any surplus. Barter with friends and neighbours was welcomed and community oriented. Financial insecurity for women and mothers was real; the fear of loss prevalent. Everyone in a family of modest means knew that once the cash was gone, it was gone. A valid job, crop successes (if you were a farmer), and the head of the household’s physical health were never certain. There were no safety nets back then. Next payday might never arrive, leaving grief and financial devastation for the survivors.Life makes it, economics needs it, longevity demands it. Gradually, as economies expanded and lifespans extended, mothers had more choices to work outside the home. Whether because a primary wage source was insufficient to meet the demands of the family, or for wishes of personal self-fulfillment, more employment opportunities appeared. Mothers found that they could take this important step. It was never about having it all, and we now know that managing a career, a family, and a household comes with many layers of negotiation. Financial independence for themselves (and their partners) has become a goal among many goals, including good educations for their children, providing a harmonious home environment, and caring for elderly parents.Mom’s role was and still is, in constant change. She may be the head of a household with no other support. In our current economic downturn, she may be the only wage earner in her spousal relationship. She may be a traditional stay-at-home mom. She may be a full-time careerist, who reverts to caregiver/Mom at night and weekends. She may not be a Mom by choice, but an aunt, a sister, or friend of a Mom with challenging family economics.Moms are not perfect. We learn from our families’ actions as children, implicitly and explicitly. Her mother, and grandmother may not have been good financial managers. Personal insecurity, lack of access to good financial information, and simply not enough resources to move forward have severely hampered women and men in their quest for financial success. I have seen young daughters become moms to their own mothers. One daughter had assumed the payment of her mother’s entire, rather large credit card debt because as she said: “ My mother has never been able to handle money. I can do this for her because I love her and I know that she loves me.”In another very emotional case, a brilliant young high school student who was a part-time member of our staff accompanied her mother to negotiate an insurance and bank settlement. Her mother was a few days away from house foreclosure. This loving child was only 16 at the time. When I asked her how this happened, she said, “My mother came from a very poor family, and she can barely read. She does not understand what these people are saying. But, I do. So I have to do this for her!”Mothers are most often the disciplinarians in the family. Children remember their mothers denying their allowances, or confiscating monies earned on newspaper routes, baby sitting and other part-time jobs. They also remember punishment for rudeness and poor manners. Later in life, they are grateful when they realise that these supposedly ‘mean’ measures were really the first series of savings accounts that they would own and the respect for others.Life is learned while living. Mothers are mentors and role models. If you are generous and motivated in career access, you probably learned it from your mother. If you have style, you may be subconsciously emulating your mother’s standards. We are without realising it, the embodiment of our parent’s love.Statistically and unfortunately, mothers have been, and will have to be survivors in families where fathers have left far too soon.No matter how tough the challenge, mothers will step up, and continue on with the financial and emotional responsibility of moving the family forward through life. God bless them all.Give your mother, if you can a monumental gesture of love and appreciation on Sunday. If you cannot, remember her commitment to you, and love for you. She is a wonderful person. After all, she had you!Sources of financial information for moms and families. www.MommySavers.Com , moms living well for less, www.wisebread.comMartha Harris MyronIn memory of our mother, Anna Clarine Harris 1918-1997