I'm in a Catch-22 situation if there ever was one. With Belco's rate increases, I'm now forced to cut back on my monthly expenses, and to do that I'm going to have to stay at home a little more. So now instead of being able to afford to go out on the town for the odd Happy Hour, I'm only going to be able to make it a monthly outing. Sorry girls!So what will I be doing while stuck at home? Well, long walks on a moonlit beach with the old battleaxe ain't gonna happen. So it's going to be a lot of TV watching. TV which will be costing me more 'cause the Belco rates have gone up. Do you see where I'm going with this? It looks like I'm going to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. In the end, it doesn't look like I'll be saving that much money.Now, there is more to this dilemma, and that is, there is nothing but a bunch of poop on the telly these days and one of the reasons is all those blasted reality shows. Have you seen any of them? If not, then save yourself from the pain and anguish. If you have and you enjoy them, you need help.These days it seems you've got reality television on every subject and on every lifestyle and situation. The only time that any brain power is used while watching these shows is when the producers sit down and try and figure out what type of reality show to produce next. You got shows about mob wives, and that show that's got some ugly, angry women who have had so much Botox injected into them — enough botulism to kill a small village — and they all seem to have the same skin colour as those little people in 'Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory'. I think I would rather deal with the Godfather than one of those wives!They have shows about so-called celebrity families, and their troubles in life. A show about celebrities going through rehab — those poor has-beens that can't handle not being famous any more. It seems whether you're a wrestling icon, a priest, a rock star or an Olympic athlete, these families are all dealing with problems that are minuscule compared to what the rest of us in the real world have to deal with. You got shows about pregnant teenagers and you even got shows about young children trying to make it on the stage. I saw a preview of 'Dance Mom' — basically there is this woman who is a child dance instructor from hell and from the size of her she hasn't been able to fit in a tutu for years wailing like a Banshee at those poor little wannabe dancer girls. The show is basically about her cursing out the mothers of these little ballerinas — and getting a kick out of it.So how real is Reality TV? Well, as soon as they bring out the camera it stops being real doesn't it?! That's a no-brainer! There is no way that anyone can act normal in front of a camera, and if they didn't act the way they do then the show would be scrapped after the first episode. It would just be a boring show without all the ranting, slapping, crying etc. The ratings would plummet. These shows are about as true as "FutureCare" working for the retired folks.Although they try their damnedest to look like real life, reality TV shows are the furthest from reality that you can get. Sure, they cast 'real' people instead of professional actors as characters, but other than that, reality TV shows are completely scripted, even rehearsed. The storyline is so carefully fabricated by the show's producers to create enough (fake) drama to keep viewers interested. No one ever watches a reality TV show without passing judgment or saying things like "OMG! What is she wearing this week?!” or "Who does that woman's hair?" and “Did you know Ozzy Osborne ate a bat on stage?" and “Ugh, she is such a byotch!”So is this entertainment? Well no, and what makes it even worse, is that it's dangerous to watch. What's so dangerous about this is that the more we watch Reality TV, the more our brains are unable to clearly distinguish between what's real and what's not. Research has shown that reality TV shows actually skew our perception of true reality.What is the attraction to such an unhealthy form of entertainment? Are our lives so boring and dull that we need to see these people act out these fake, exacerbated scenarios? Is it because we love to see people mess up and we like to see them fake humiliation? Perhaps it makes us feel better about own lives. We get some sort of satisfaction seeing some families that are more dysfunctional than our own.Basically, what it comes down to is if you want to be happier in life avoid the negativity and the distorted view about life that these shows generate. We need to send a message to the writers, producers or whatever they call themselves that are responsible for producing this garbage, and that message should be “You're fired!" Oh, and Donald Trump, do something with that hair! You look like a geriatric hippy.* Don't forget to email Grumpy Old Man your thoughts: grumpyoldman@royalgazette.bm