I think learning a second or third language is always a good thing. They tell me that if you want to get a job in Europe these days it's better to be trilingual. That's fine if you're young and want to work in Europe, but at my age I feel that it's completely unfair to be forced to learn a second language. So what's forcing me to take up this second lingo? Modern technology that's what.I, like most of the people my age, greet the tech world with a bit of dread and trepidation.It seems to me, just when you work out how to use a new gadget, it becomes obsolete. You see, this all started some years back when we had the record player. You remember the 33 and the 45 and the rare one ... what was it ... the 78? That's it. You played the record so much that you wore down the groves of the record that you had to put a penny on the needle to keep it in the track.Then came the portability of the eight track tape. These tapes were about the size of a dime novel, but other than that you could listen to your music in the car. Dose were de days!Next up was the cassette tape and with this one you always had a pencil at hand to rewind the cogs to get the tape back in.Along comes the 80s when the shiny, silver disk called the compact disc (CD) was introduced. By this time, I'm losing my hair and my mind trying to keep up. You know those misplaced people that hang around Front Street with brown paper bags and have conversations with themselves? Well those are the ones that lost it somewhere between the eight track and compact disc. It was their inability to keep up with the changes of modern technology that made them give up. The tech age did their heads in.So when I got one of those iPod gadgets as a Christmas present from some family member that wants to send me to MAWI, I decided that it's going to stay in the box and I would re-gift it to someone else. No way was I going to join the self-talkers on Front Street.Now, don't get me wrong, I haven't given up on techno gadgets completely. I did break down and buy one of those phones that you can walk around with. “This is easy” I think to myself, I've been using one of these for years.Then one day it rang. I answered it and no one was there. This happened a few times. So I took it back to the store and said “This thing is broke”. After a quick look at it, the salesperson replied “No Sir, the ring is telling you that you have a text message”. What's that ya say? A text message? Then he proceeds to explain to me what a text message is. I then feel the urge to go and get a brown paper bag from Gosling's.So I read the text message. It seems it was sent by someone called LOL. I have no idea who that is so I told the know-it-all-kid behind the counter: “It's broke. I don't know anyone called LOL“. At this point, I was educated about this second dialect that exists in the cyber world.He told me I would have to learn it if I want to communicate in the text world. The thought of being forced to learn this mutant language and that LOL was not a person's initials but stood for “Laugh out loud”, my hands started to shake and I began mumbling something about “Hey man, do you have any spare change”?Just in the nick of time I snap out of it and decide that instead of allowing technology to control me, I will control it and make it work for me. How's that for progressive thinking for a 60+ year old? My first plan of attack is to learn this new way of communicating by developing a text language that us old age pensioners can identify with and use on a day-to-day basis. I have compiled a list of them. Please feel free to add some of your own. I've thought of a name for this type of texting and it's called “Geri-text” Get it? Geriatric.Here's a sampling. To see the complete list, see the side bar.ATD: At the Doctor'sWWID: What was I doing?BTW: Bring The WheelchairDWI: Driving While IncontinentBYOT: Bring Your Own TeethFYI: Found Your Insulin* If you have a few more text ideas e-mail them to Grumpyoldman@royalgazette.bm and don't forget to follow Grumpy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/GrumpyoldmanMan (he can't text but he has been taught to tweet ...!)