Now that we are into the summer, we enter the season of the naive, disillusioned souls. The oblivious and clueless folk. I’m talking about those men and women, local and visitors alike, who think their body is actually three to four sizes smaller than it really is. We have all seen them in clothes so tight that that it makes the Michelin tyre guy look like a runway model. Hello! Who’s in denial here?!For this to have happened, someone has done them a serious disservice and lied to them. No one has ever looked them straight in the eye and said without laughing “Gurl! You look hot in dem shorts and halter top” or “Yeah man; you can really see ya biceps in that string vest. The guys are like Arnold (‘I’ll be back’) Schwarzenegger wannabes. They go out into the world showing more skin than should be allowed by law.There are some people who actually believe they look good. This is partially true in some men especially seen in some of our visitors to our east when they arrive on the cruise ships. I saw this one gentlemen last week walking up Reid Street — this man had said ‘supersize me’ a few too many times. He had so much extra flab under his arm that I think he mistook it for muscle and proceeded to walk down the street in his vest and super tight shorts. The shorts I will forgive him for ‘cause there was no way he was going to be able to check how he looked over his enormous gut to see how tight these shorts actually were. That’s if he couldn’t feel how tight they were.Not too far behind him was another visitor who had gone down the same road of the disillusioned. This frequent guest of the ‘all you can eat buffet’ must have weighed about 250lbs and managed to squeeze into a Daisy Duke pair of shorts with the words ‘Hot Stuff ‘ printed on her rear end and not to mention, create a major tremor in the force as she headed down the street. The only way I can work out how she could possibly get into these shorts would be to get a large can of Crisco and well oil those ham-hock thighs. I swore that I could hear the clasp on those shorts say in a Scotty from Star Trek Scottish accent “She’s not gonna take much more captin, she’s gonna blaw”!So why do I care what people look like after they try and roll all there excess blubber into a pair of shorts or tube top? Well, the breaking point came last weekend when I went out with a bunch of friends. One of my mates’ wife, who by the way dresses as if she is 20-years-old, had fallen into the trap of flab jamming — man, her shorts where so tight that it created a second butt crack half way up her back. She also has this tattoo of a poodle on the base of her back, the resulting images of this poor poodle being devoured by this second butt crack was far too upsetting for me. I didn’t know whether to call the fashion police or the SPCA to save the poor inked pooch from being digested by Jabba the Hut.Now it’s simple people — next time you go into a clothing store find sizes that actually fit you and save us all a lot of mental anguish.What makes you grumpy? Let Grumpy Old Man know — e-mail him grumpyoldman@royalgazette.bm. And don’t forget you can follow Grumpy on Twitter https://twitter.com/#!/GrumpyoldmanMan