A funny thing - or morbidly sad (depends on how you view this story) - happened on my way to relocating our cat to Australia last weekend.I discovered that owning one can kill you.I can assure you that sadness wasn't the emotion on my mind when I had to go through hoops to get Squeak down under.First there are mandatory rabies vaccinations.This of course had to be done at a certain time prior to leaving, then a period of four weeks had to evaporate before another round of equally important blood samples needed withdrawing and examined.Apparently the reading of these bloods, which are sent to England for examination, take a further two weeks. Then the mandatory 60 days in quarantine here in Bermuda is a prerequisite, followed by the trip to Australia to be picked up by the Aussie quarantine people and quarantined there for a further three months!Here's where the suicidal ...hmm, cat bug was discovered.Once a cat is put on a plane, it seems that if that plane has reason to land and the ground temperature outside exceeds 85 degrees, the cat is taken off the plane and held. From here to Australia the plane stops at New York and Los Angeles. Temperatures in the US have reached past 100 everywhere of late.Fingers are crossed we actually see Squeaky ever again.Ok, here's where you other cat owners need to be aware, and I suggest you sell your cat after reading this.Last week, in a small animal husbandry journal, the findings of a long and extensive research programme were published.A parasite appears to play a troubling role in humans, increasing the risk of suicide among women in particular.And the even more disturbing aspect of this is now that it has been discovered, there is a very LARGE chance you or someone you know has been infiltrated by the parasite, called Toxoplasma gondii. For the sake of saving space, let's call it T-Rex.Early indicators suggest T-Rex is carried by about 25 percent of all North Americans. It can make you a host if you change kitty litter used by infected cats.Like all things in the universe, it has its favourites and cats are just that.It can only fully complete its reproductive cycle in the feline intestinal tract.In order to get inside the gut of cats T-Rex has somehow managed to do what mankind tried to master. Because it can't invade a cat, it has to somehow get ingested. So it invades mice and rats instead, goes to their brains, and turns them from cat haters to pussy lovers!T-Rex attacks the sex drive element of a mouse or rat, and makes them want to be close to a cat. Who, in turn, does not share the sex need with the rodent, so it simply eats it. And T-Rex is now in the intestines.We pick cats up and cuddle them and here's where life gets...on occasion, lifeless.The ongoing studies show that all that pussy patting and affection can attract T-Rex into our mouths. Like the rats, it goes to our minds causing, at times, massive mood and behavioural changes.The parasite has been factually linked to an increased risk of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder in humans. Still more studies suggest there is a relationship between suicide attempts and infection with T-Rex.And here's the proof.For the past ten years, Denmark has supplied the case studies and found two staggering facts. One, that of the 45,000 people studied, nearly 500 of them wanted to commit suicide. And of that 500, about 300 had the T-Rex bug inside them. Of the remaining 44,500 - none had the T-Rex parasite!The study was published last week in the Archives of General Psychiatry.Moreover, the researchers found a dose-response relationship, with the women carrying the highest levels of Toxoplasma gondii in their bloodstreams having a staggering 90 percent increased rate of attempted suicides compared with women who were not infected.Despite that, the report's authors emphasised that people should evict their cats.If they are potential killers, I say shun the moggy for life.I have re-routed our cat to the tiny island of Bora Bora.Once there, the authorities can do what they want with her, but I have attached a note that says, "cat may have eaten horny rodent. Do not pat her."They will wonder why, of course, and go ahead and pat her anyway.