I decided that I would brave the digging up and paving of Hamilton's roads and head into town last Saturday. Apart from being vexed from all the detouring, the incident that I witnessed in town just about sent me over the top.I have never touched on this subject before because I thought it might be a little politically incorrect (that's the jargon these days that means you're not allowed to speak your mind) — so much for freedom of expression. Apparently you can have it all you want, but just don't express it.Well here goes — I'm sure I will be hung, drawn and quartered for this one, but I don't care! I've got to get this one off my chest.So anyway I'm driving along Reid Street outside the Bank of Butterflied, where I have to come to a stop 'cause someone is trying to park one of them gert SUVs in a spot that was large enough to park a twenty foot container. While I'm watching this SUV perform this painful choreographed production of Swan Lake with a broken leg, I turn to de wife and say, “I bet ya it's a woman driver”, that was followed by a ringing clip around the ears.This is why all of us old men have what they call 'cauliflower ears', it's from all them slaps from the wives.She then replied, ”You don't know that”! “Oh really,” I replied “I bet ya ten bucks”. The delusional broad took the bet.So, as we waited for what seemed like four or five excruciating minutes, out climbed this five foot nothing woman to check out her parking position. She apparently was not happy about the fruits of her labour, since she was about three feet from the curb. She then proceeded to climb back into her car which was an effort in of itself — the climb that she had to endure to get behind the wheel would have made Sir Edmund Hillary proud. There is something about a woman in a short skirt and high heels making her ascent into a vehicle that's almost like getting into the cab of one of those 18 wheelers. I definitely had to check this out. I thought I had said to myself “Wow, look at that”! Then I realised that I said it out loud 'cause I then received another ringing slap. My wife is such a sore loser.After another couple minutes of manoeuvring the oversized car she was safely parked. Traffic was finally allowed to resume. As I drove the remainder of my commute I decided to do a count of just how many of these SUV's were on the road. Well, it was clear that our Island with all of its narrow, winding roads was now turning into an SUV paradise, and that this bloated vehicle has now turned into a status symbol of sorts. They are everywhere — driven by people who ain't got a clue how to drive or park them on our minuscule roads.Now I'm sure I'm being called a male chauvinist pig by some of you, but give me a chance and hear me out. If Government is going to allow these vehicles on the roads (I guess there might have been a couple of politicos that probably pushed this one through, so they could get one of their own), then they should mandate that people who use them should at least know how to drive them since it's highly unlikely W&E are going to undertake a massive, expensive project of widening all of our roads. If you want a van license you need to go to TCD and take a special van license test. Some of these SUV's are bigger than most of the vans out there today. I've got a sneaking suspicion that some of the high heel drivers of these SUV's took their driving tests in one of those Subaru J10's. You know, the ones that are about the size of a toaster?What I'm suggesting is that we need to put the SUV in a different licensing category from the rest of the cars and in doing so, a separate test needs to be administered in an SUV to prove that people can handle such a car — not just for the safety of the driver but also for the safety of the other road users. Hey people, if you want to own an expensive, gas guzzling gert vehicle like an SUV, then learn how to drive one properly!Now I'm getting this feeling that I may most likely have a couple of contracts taken out on me after this rant and I may need to go into hiding for a while. All I'm asking ladies is please, not around the ears.* You can tell Grumpy what you think if you follow him on Twitter: https://twitter.com/GrumpyoldmanMan