The other day I wrote an e-mail to the Editor of an in-flight magazine asking her if she wanted any content from Bermuda — seeing they fly here and all.She showed interest, but her response made me ponder a completely different subject altogether."Dear Mr Chapman," it began. "I appreciate you reaching out to us and yes we have not had any stories about Bermuda before. The idea appeals to me. I shall look into what we can afford to pay and get back to you. On another matter, have we met? I ask because your e-mail started Hi Kat. Around here when addressed early on, it is Mrs Williams, or after a little while, Katherine. Kat is probably a little too forward or personal too soon. I hope you understand."Well, to be perfectly honest ... I don't understand.I do not think it's a show of disrespect to address someone by their first name when you initially meet them. And in this case, the Editor's name appeared as Katherine Williams in the imprint ... with no caveat or proviso that stated I needed to call her Mrs or Ms or Miss Williams upon first meeting.So am I wrong?Do we need to address people with Mr or Mrs to this day? I know in Bda the formal way is everywhere. "Hello Mr Chapman, we're here to mow the lawn and trim the trees." Great ...but guys call me Ric please.""OK Mr Chapman, will do."Arghhh.To be frank, I don't ask people to call me Mr Chapman. If they do, it kinda irritates me, and my philosophy is if I don't ask or expect you to call me Mr ... then I should be allowed to call you by your name without Mr and Mrs in front.I have had e-mail exchanges with the Premier, Paula Cox and I have referred to her in the e-mail as, Dear Paula. There was no ministerial correction thrown my way in response which I appreciated. Although I must add, she did write back, Dear Mr Chapman.Every time someone rang my radio show to play Songopoly, and addressed me as Mr Chapman, I insisted they call me Ric. Mainly because it is warmer, but also because Ric is my name ... not Mr.Actually, in my three years in Bermuda, I have noticed the use of Mr or Mrs is very common. Old fashioned and quaint, and very common.I am aware that some of this is due to the Island’s racial legacy, and a history in which whites were “Mr and Mrs” and black adults were called by their first names.So if people want to remain formal, fine ... but when addressing me, I like Ric.Actually I wonder if there’s an ego aspect to my disdain of formalities.I think we are all made equally and to single someone out for a Mr or Mrs handle, seems to be putting them on a pedestal higher than others.I am forced now to choose between addressing her as she requests, apologising for being too formal too soon, and get the gig to write the story, or take the route I want to — write back to her apologising for being forward, then turning down the opportunity to write the story on the grounds that her ways not just rebuffed me but made me want to puke.What type of a human actually writes a letter telling another person that they are being too forward by using that person's first name?As I write this, I'm getting even hotter under the collar.I think I will turn down the opportunity to write about Bda. Or, actually, why don't I write about how formal Bda is right across the board. And how often Bermudians use the terms Mr and Mrs irrespective of the occasion."Well Mr Chapman, I think we can buy the paint for $490," said the painter. "OK, that sounds good but please call me Ric." "Certainly Mr Chapman. I'll be here in four days to start the work.""That's wonderful, but please call me Ric.""OK ... Mr Ric."Arghhhh.As for Kat, Kate, Katey Williams ... or whatever she wants herself known as, I will probably send this story you've just read to her for publication consideration.She'll find fault with it, not publish it, I'll get angry and write to her again."Dear Kat, I'm sorry that I offended you by being friendly. But your response was anything but friendly ... and I know which side of the fence I want to be on."Because being friendly is the Bda way.