Dear Carla, I am 14 years old and I think that I want to have sex. I have a boyfriend who I get to see on the weekends. We kiss and stuff but have never done it. I want to tell my mama but I am scared that she will beat me because she has told me to wait until I am at least 21. I don’t want to get pregnant and I am too young to go to clinic. I am thinking about asking my aunty to take me but my mama would be mad if she found out. What should I do?THINKING ABOUT ITDear Thinking,Please reconsider having sex at such a tender age. You are too young to take on such a heavy burden. Sex has many consequences which can include diseases, heartbreak and most of all unwanted pregnancy if you do not protect yourself. While it may seem like you are in love with your boyfriend, you are not. You are in lust. Trust me when I tell you, you will be “in love” many more times over the next few years before you discover your true love. While your body may be experiencing different feelings, try to ignore them and wait a few more years. I would also discourage you from going to the clinic behind your mother’s back. If you do and she finds out it will also cause a major issue between you and your aunt. Sit down and talk to your mother about how you feel and what you are experiencing. I think she would be appreciative of you being honest with her instead of sneaking behind her back.Dear Carla,A year ago, I met the man of my dreams. He treats me well and we have a lot of fun together. He is easy to talk to. He spends many nights at my house. But I have a problem. I found out two months ago that he has a girlfriend. I was stunned when my friend told me. I asked him and he denied it. He said that the female in question was just his friend. I’ve seen him out with child and when I would ask him who was the child he would say it was his godchild. Turns out it was his “friend’s”. Eventually I got all the proof I needed so confirm that she is his girlfriend. But I don’t want to leave him alone. I am still seeing him and just enjoying the time we are spending together. Do I wait around hoping he will leave?PATIENTDear Patient,Are you serious? While it may not have been your fault when he was lying, I give you nothing for continuing to see him. It is women like you who help to create the many problems on this Island. Leave him alone. He will not leave her. He will just keep having you as the side chick. You’ve accepted it for the last two months so why would he change now? Stop the madness. Now. You deserve better.Dear Carla,I need to vent. I don’t understand how much longer I can I deal with being unemployed. I lost my job last year after being laid off and have had no success in finding anything. I am willing to wash dishes, clean houses, whatever. I am thankful that I live at home but the stress of being unemployed is killing me. I feel worthless. I don’t want to turn to crime but how much longer can I continue to be hungry.DESPERATEDear Desperate,Please, please do not resort to anything criminal. Trust me when I tell you I understand that these times are hard. If you have not already done so, submit applications to every employment agency on the Island. Have you considered volunteering in an area of interest that you have? Sometimes employment opportunities culminate from volunteerism. I know it’s hard but please keep the faith. Good luck to you.Dear Carla,I just found out that my two-year-old daughter is not mine. When my ex started to show when she was pregnant people were telling me that the baby was not mine but I didn’t want to believe it. To this day, I believe she looks like me. One day, me and my ex got in an argument and she told me I was not the baby’s father. I don’t play that so I asked for a paternity test. She tried to say that she was joking but I demanded it. And the test said it all … I am not her father. I am devastated. I always said I would never raise a child who did not belong to me but I am in love with my princess. I am the only father she knows. While I dislike her mother, I do not want to cut her out of my life. I have mixed emotions. I have distanced myself from her but I don’t want to but I need to clear my head. I am so confused and hurt. What do I do?TORNDear Torn,Most of all I am sorry that you’ve had to experience this. I wish this on no one. I have always been of the belief that blood is overrated. If you love this little girl, I see no reason why you should cut her out of your life. She is innocent and did not ask for this situation. Her mother owes you an apology. I know you are mad at her but I think it’s important that the two of you sit down to talk about your daughter’s future and where you fit in. Does she plan on finding out who the biological father is because he has a right to know as well. I think that all parties involved need to keep the best interest of the child at the forefront at all times, no matter how painful the situation is to discuss.