Dear Carla,I am currently with a man that I have been with for seven years. We have one child together. I have no idea where we are headed. I would love to get married and have more children but I do not see myself marrying this man. He has said that he wants to marry me but i have trepidations. He is very immature and I feel that I am constantly being the adult. I am looking to be someone’s partner not their parent. It seems this relationship has reached the end. I always say to him I don’t think I want to be with him but whenever I do he just brushes it aside and thinks there is another man involved; which there is not. I do not enjoy my time with this man as we end up getting into arguments on a daily basis. We do not have fun together; we do not go on dates or even just out to a sit down dinner. Am I being unreasonable to want at least a little romance? Is there a such thing as happily ever after? Or is that just in fairy tales? - Looking for Happily Ever AfterDear Looking,Sounds like you are staying there for the sake of your child. Be honest with yourself. Does that really make sense? I understand that it’s not always easy to just sever a relationship, especially with such a permanent connection but it makes no sense being unhappy. I don’t know how old your child is but I don’t think parents are doing their children any justice by not providing them with a nurturing and loving environment. Kids can sense when their parents are not happy. Now let’s take your child out of the equation and look at you. Do you think you deserve to remain in a situation that you dislike? That’s called existing. You need to LIVE! And you are not being fair to your boyfriend either. There is someone out there who could appreciate him. Sit down with him and have a heart to heart. Without being insensitive tell him that you are unwilling to continue in this situation. Then follow through! If you keep telling him same thing over and over he will not take you seriously. Tell him you want to continue to co-parent with him......just not as a couple. Please make sure that this is what you truly want because breaking a family unit is a serious thing that should not be taken lightly.***Dear Carla,I am a mother of a three-year-old who will be returning to school overseas soon. My child’s father would like to go with us, the problem is that I am not feeling it. He is always moody, and has a violent temper. I feel like I tiptoe around him and try not to upset him. He threatens me all the time and curses at me. I feel like I have reached the point that things are not working. I have caught him on numerous occasions messaging other women and he lies about it even when caught. I do not trust him at all, before him I trusted men and now I feel that I can’t. I feel I should be just as dishonest as him but the problem is I have a conscience and can’t bring myself to do it. He tells me I always look at the negative but the thing is there is no positive. He says that he loves me but I have caught him messaging women saying he loves and misses them. He and wants us to stay together for our child. He is not a great Father. He is there as a father figure I guess but he does not spend time with our child unless I have to go somewhere. He never just takes him and goes out to give me a break. What should I do? Do I stay with him and be unhappy for our child? - Got a TicketDear Ticket,I think you know the answer to your own question...do not take him with you. Being in college involves focus. I commend you for taking your child with you because that requires additional attention and commitment; the last thing you need is to add a dysfunctional relationship into the mix. Sounds to me like he’s just looking for a reason to get off the island. You do not need the additional stress. Instead you need positive energy. If you take him with you he will need time to acclimate to the area which means he will initially be around you round the clock. With negative vibes that is pure torture. I think you guys should see how the semester goes and reevaluate things from there. Hopefully the distance will help both of you to see things more clearly. But if he’s texting females while you are here, I think it would be naive of you to think he’d stop when you are gone. Good luck. Do well in school!Contact Carla at carla@royalgazette.com