Dear Carla,I am 35 and single and I want to have children. But I am still holding out for the ‘right one’ to come along. I am not a virgin by any stretch of the imagination but I refuse to have a child out of wedlock. My parents were not married when they had me so I always promised myself that I would break the cycle. I’ve been seeing this guy on and off for a while. We get along well and have never had any sort of argument but every so often I leave him because he is a married man. His wife does not live here though she visits I’m sure. I have no clue and don’t ask because I don’t want to know. I feel the less I know the better.He knows that I want to become a mommy before it is too late and has offered to have a child with me, provide for it and everything but as much as I want a child I am not sure if I want to do this. He has three children and is a great father to them but they are his children in wedlock. I’ve told him about my apprehension to do this but I also know that it’s highly unlikely that I will meet and marry someone while I am still in my childbearing years. What would you do?CLOCK IS ALMOST UPDear Clock,I would not have a child for a married man who is still with his wife (some couples are only married legally) and I think you are right to be apprehensive about doing so. I think he’s being selfish. And a rat where his wife is concerned. He is enjoying the best of both worlds whenever he seeing you and her and FYI he probably has more women that you don’t know about and for you to think otherwise would be crazy on your part. Okay, so let’s say you decide to have this baby with him will it be a secret that the baby is his? Will he tell his wife? His family? Would she divorce you and name you in her divorce petition? Are you going to put his name on child’s birth certificate. And when the child is older how do you explain to them that you was their dad’s mistress. I know you feel like time is running out but I would suggest you stick to your guns and don’t do it.-------Dear Carla,My son just confessed to me that he is gay. I don’t think he is because he’s very popular with the girls. I think he’s just confused. When I tell him this he gets mad at me and tells me I am disrespecting his feelings. Because these young people seem so bold nowadays I’m thinking it is just a phase he’s going through. He says I need to accept the truth.NOT MY BOYDear Not my boy,Hate to break it to you but it sounds like it is your boy. If he says he is gay then I suggest you work on accepting it sooner than later. Even if he is going through a phase he is telling u who he is right now. Sit down and talk with him. Allow him to be honest about his feelings. And support him. I think it’s admirable that he came to you. Says a lot about who you are as a person.--------Dear Carla,What do I do when two of my closest friends cannot stand each other and are always trying to make me choose sides? I make a big effort not to be in the middle of their drama but somehow I always do. I try to keep them both out of my life at the same time but they have mutual friends so we are often in the same circles and it’s obvious they are vying for my attention. When I ignore them both I eventually get calls from each of them accusing me of favouring the other. They are both starting to irritate me.PULLEDDear Pulled,They both sound so immature. I think you need to have a conversation with both if them and tell them that you value both of their friendships but you are tired of the competition. While you accept that they don’t like each other they both need to respect your friendship with them. And if they continue to act silly then you may need to cut them both off.