Dear Carla: My ex-boyfriend and I get along well. We have two children together. He comes to my house a lot to check on the children and most times he and I end up chilling in my room. Nothing sinister goes on as the door is always open and the children are always running in and out. Here’s my problem. When he’s around here we laugh and talk and stuff but when he’s around his girlfriend he switches up and acts kind of distant. I think he does it so that she doesn’t think anything is going on between us, not even our friendship. I think he needs to tell her the truth. I told him if he doesn’t then he is no longer welcome into my home because I think his behaviour is two faced. Am I wrong? — BE REAL

Dear Be Real: Clearly your ex is trying to keep the peace based on what you are describing. I don’t think that me means to be malicious but probably just doesn’t know what else to do. Banning him from your home is not going to do anything but hurt your kids and that makes no sense. What you can do, however, is set boundaries. Make sure he comes to your house at decent hours and no more allowing him into your bedroom. Since his reason for coming to your house is your children let him hang out in their rooms. You didn’t say how long she has been his girlfriend but maybe she’s insecure. Women are intuitive and she probably senses how good the relationship is between the two of you. When the opportunity arises, make sure that you address her warmly; have conversations with him in her presence. Give her a chance to see that the only interest you have in him is that of a coparent. Hopefully he can feel comfortable enough one day to be himself all the time.

Dear Carla: I know how much you love Facebook and all the social media but I hate it with a passion. Can you help me understand what is the obsession? My husband and I both have Instagram accounts. But I notice that he’s starting to follow women who live overseas who are scantily clad. And he’s always liking their pictures. I feel this is disrespectful to me. Am I overreacting since they are not in Bermuda? — ANNOYED

Dear Annoyed: You may not like what I have to say but GET A LIFE! What harm can your husband be doing by liking the pictures of women he most likely would never see in person in his lifetime. As much as we don’t wish to admit it we have to accept that our men do look at and fantasise about other women at some point and they’d be lying to you if they said otherwise. I would be more concerned if it was the pics of a local, to be honest. Let him have his fantasy. And really, how can you stop it? Don’t sweat the small stuff!

Dear Carla: I hate the dating scene in Bermuda. In your opinion what’s the rule on seeing someone who may have dated one of your friends? — ISLAND TOO SMALL

Dear Too Small: When I was younger my rule was simple: if he dated one of my close friends then he was automatically off limits. Now, I don’t feel the same. Unless they were married to them or have children with them, they are fair game. But I would encourage anyone to have a conversation with their friend so they are not taken by surprise. It’s a respect thing.

Dear Carla: I’m planning my wedding and my fiance and I decided that we are having a small wedding with no more than 50 guests each including family. I come from a large family and know that this will hurt some feelings. How do I make this happen without people getting mad at me? — THIS IS HARD

Dear Hard: This is your special day and you owe no one any explanations. If they are genuinely happy for you then they will understand. So many people think they have to spend tons of money on their wedding day to make others’ happy. This should not be the case. Do what makes you guys happy. Congrats!!