Spare a thought for the Health Minister. He hasn’t been in office four months and grease balls surface on the South Shore. If that isn’t bad enough, the US Consulate issues a travel warning about swimming on our beaches. But look, it happens: the unexpected and the unwelcome, that is. Or to steal a line from Forrest Gump, politics can be like a box a chocolates, you never know what you are going to get from one day to the next.

Okay, in the interests of accuracy, you’re right: it was what Forrest said his dear mother told him about life. But life, politics, same difference.

Not that this should have been completely unexpected. On the contrary. We have known about the problem of pumping sewage into the ocean from the Paget shoreline for some many years now. Cue up the background music now, Mr Editor: start with ‘O Danny boy’, a sound tribute to an old foe but still friend, fisherman Danny Farias, for whom the pipeline, and the damage that it causes, has been cause célèbre for years. Decades, in fact.

But here’s the problem. To paraphrase former US Defence Secretary Rumsfeld: I don’t think very many of us can be sure whether we are dealing with a known unknown or an unknown known when it comes to just what is being pumped out, and just what is washing back up on shore.

Many of us have found it convenient over the years to simply bury our heads in the sand, whether it be pink or otherwise. Much like we do with pesticides and vehicle emissions as we go about our daily business. We rely instead on Bermuda’s health authorities to protect us. More than that, we like to think that they are actively monitoring what is going on, and safeguarding not just the ocean, but those who choose to swim in it.

It looks like grease balls got things going. There again, maybe not. But for the US Consul’s warning the problem may not have provoked the attention, and response, that it did. Apparently the notice didn’t help our reputation much either. The new Tourism Authority was quick off the mark to confirm the obvious. As our Government has shown in another case, reputational risk must be jealously guarded at all times; but no word yet on whether any work permits will be pulled.

The correct and more appropriate course of action is to get on and deal with it. Oh sure, the Opposition will criticise. Expect it. That’s part of their job. Clumsy as it may be, it’s all part of keeping Government’s feet to the fire. Mind you, it wouldn’t hurt if they also shared with us what ought to be done based on their years of experience at the helm.

Of course, it doesn’t always work out that way. We get bogged down in tiresome rhetoric very quickly. Let’s get to the solution. What was done or not done by the Opposition when they were Government, or by the Government before them, is of no practical consequence unless it sheds light on what will or will not work.

Spare us the politics. Fix it. Tell us how, and why, and report openly and regularly on results. It won’t hurt to copy in the US Consulate and the BTA as well. There may an added bonus here for our tourism campaign. Come on down and come on in: we take care and pride in our beaches.

If that wasn’t enough, we were recently reminded in a very sad and tragic way that we ought to be cleaning our tanks at least once every six years. It’s the law, in fact, which has probably been honoured more in the breach over the years than in application. I mean: be honest, who knew? So the call goes out for effective enforcement by the health authorities which, on any view, is no simple task. But there may some other more immediate practical solutions here: test your water regularly and make clean tanks a standard term of future leases and sales agreements.

It is always nice — and appealing too — when you can make your problems someone else’s. We have seen a couple of good examples of this strategy at play in recent weeks.

Government funds and takes credit for a more extensive network of CCTV cameras, but then points out that any delays or failures in getting up and running are operational and not their responsibility.

Operations are the exclusive responsibility of the Police Commissioner, we were told, and Government respects the constitutional separation of power by not getting involved in the day to day operation of the police. How constitutionally convenient, you might think? Over to you, Mr Commissioner: the problems are all yours.

The Grand Atlantic is the other example; and I wonder like others what became of pre-election concerns about the structural integrity of the coastal property, notwithstanding someone else may take on the problem. We didn’t hear much about the issue or price in the recently announced MOU, but I am guessing that the two will feature large, if not be inextricably linked, in any final agreement. We wait to see. These are important parts of the bigger picture and every picture, as we know Mr. Editor, tells a story.

* Share your views on The Royal Gazette website or write jbarritt@ibl.bm.