Dear Carla,

I have a friend who I adore but she irritates me because she is always bragging about how much she makes. No matter where we are she uses it as an opportunity make it about her income.

Then she wonders why new people in her life only seem to be out for what she can give them. I’ve tried telling her that all she is doing is attracting fake people but she thinks I’m jealous.

I don’t make as much as her so her mindset is stupid to me. How do I get her to see what she is doing?

REAL FRIEND

Dear Real Friend,

If you’ve already spoken to her about her actions, what more can you do? Sounds me to me like your friend is actually a very insecure person and money offers her the validation she is seeking.

There’s really not much you can do besides keep talking to her.

I’d also suggest the next time you are in her presence as she starts talking about money find a way to change topic and steer the conversation in another direction.

Something just hit me that I have to look at as well — are you the only friend who feels this way? Are you envious? Hmmm

Dear Carla,

I have been involved with a guy for almost a year and things are going relatively well. My issue is that he refuses to acknowledge me as his girlfriend.

He tells people that we are “friends”, a term that is overused in this Island. I feel guys especially use the term to keep opportunities open for other women.

But what I find interesting is that while he will not commit to me he expects me to be “loyal” to him. I want to be in a settled relationship and I’m starting to think that he’s wasting my time. Should I end this?

PRETEND GIRL

Dear Pretend,

If the situation is making you unhappy and it is not giving you what you require then I suggest that you walk away. There’s nothing worse than two people being in two different places in the same supposedly relationship.

It’s unfair to both of you. Sit down with him N and tell him how you feel. Ask him for his reason(s) for not wanting to make it official and be prepared to handle what he has to say.

Most men know what they want or don’t want so trust me when I tell you, there’s a reason. But once he shares you have to be willing to accept the truth. Then take your decision and stick with it! Good luck.

Dear Carla,

I have been with my boyfriend for 15 years and we have four children together. We started dating when we were in our early 20s. We’ve had our ups and downs but we really love each other.

We live together and do everything as a family. He wants to get married next year and I do not. I feel there’s no need for us to “fix it” if it’s not broken.

I know this may sound weird coming from a female but I’m dead serious. I guess I’ve settled into our life so much that I see no reason to change it.

I’ve seen too many relationships break up once they say “I do” and I don’t want that happen to us. Am I crazy?

WHO NEEDS A BROOM

Dear Broom,

You are cutting yourself short by refusing to be married. The worst thing you could do to your relationship is live it based on others’ experiences.

It is commendable that he wants to marry you and I think should think long and hard about what you could be throwing away.

By refusing his hand, you are sending him a very serious message ... that he is not good enough to be solidified in your life. And what about your children?

To see their mom and dad bond as one is a significant deal. I would suggest you seek Counselling on your own to explore what is really bothering you.

I am not judging you but most times, if we peel back the layers far enough we will find things that we have perhaps suppressed.

Please do not cut your family short. Explore all possibilities before you write off marriage altogether. Blessings to you!