Dear Carla: What would you do if you had a friend who you have known for years and all of a sudden they stop speaking without notice? Would you approach them or leave them alone? This is not the first time they have done this. I have tried messaging, calling and no reply. I don’t beg friendship I value it. But with this behaviour it is bothering me. This is the second time they’ve done this to me in a year. The last time it was for three months and then they went back to acting normal out of the blue. — Baffled

Dear Baffled: Based on what you’ve said, although very little, it sounds like the good old Bermuda rumour mill is in full effect. People usually “just stop speaking” because someone has told them something and they are instantly believing it. That happens often here. But if they were a true friend, they would address it with you with a view of finding a resolution. You are partly to blame for the current situation though. When they treated you like that the first time and you allowed everything to return to normal you sent them a subliminal message that it’s okay for you to be treated in such a manner. A conversation should have taken place in order to clear the air. If I was in your current situation, I would have to count my losses and release the friendship for a while because you could only treat me like that once. Although it may be a struggle, stop trying to figure out what went wrong because unless they tell you, you are only hurting your head. Find peace within yourself and let it go. If and when they try to “come back” you must demand to talk first to find out what was the issue. If they refuse to discuss it, walk away from friendship. For good.

Dear Carla: Years ago my cousin was in love with a man. She had hopes and dreams for them but it didn’t work out. He and I were friends as well and we enjoyed a great platonic relationship. A year after then broke up he and I bumped into each other in a club. He asked me for a dance and before you knew it, we ended up sleeping together. I felt guilty but it was a while since he dated her. That was three years ago and it never happened again. They never got back together. Question is ... should I tell her? — Guilty

Dear Guilty: Unless she asks you about the situation, I see no reason why you should tell her. Why hurt her unnecessarily, especially since they are no longer together. Now by a rule, he should have automatically been off limits because he used to be with her. Just keep it to yourself and make sure you don’t make the same mistake twice.

Dear Carla: I live at home with my parents with my two children. While I am thankful that my parents are giving me the opportunity to save money, I am having one major problem being under their roof. They think they can make major decisions in my children’s lives without consulting with me. For example, my teenage son asked me to go to a party; I told him no but he went and asked my parents behind my back and told him he could go which led to a big argument. I feel that they had no right to do that but they feel since it’s their house their rules then I must abide by their rules. I am 45 and this is really irritating me but I can’t afford right now to move out on my own. How do I get my parents to respect that these are my children and what I say is most important? — Feeling Disprespected

Dear Feeling Disrespected: Your parents probably mean no harm; remember they are used to being the parent so it may be hard for them to take a back seat in the rearing of their grand kids. Sit down with them and discuss boundaries. Then have another discussion involving them and the children so that everyone is on the same page. It’ll work out. You are lucky to have parents willing to accommodate you so work with them to find a viable solution.

Got a question for Carla? E-mail carla@royalgazette.com