Dear Carla,

Last week my 14-year-old daughter came home and told me that one of her best friends is expecting a baby and she wants her to be one of the godmothers. I am shocked by the revelation!

I have mixed emotions about whether or not I should approve this request. Although she didn’t have to my daughter asked for my input and I am grateful she did instead of automatically saying she would.

I asked my daughter what could she offer to this child at this young age and for the most part she understands what a godparent should do.

One thing she won’t be able to do is buy the child things. Should I let her?

NOT SURE

Dear Not Sure

As the mother of a teenager, I find this question so intriguing. I keep placing myself in your shoes and pondering what would I do.

I even asked my Facebook friends what would they do. While I didn’t expect an overwhelming response, the question garnered over 100 responses with heated debate. Tons of food for thought there.

I would not allow my daughter to become godmother of the child. I think it’s too young for a child to take on such an important responsibility.

Many adults have difficulty upholding their duties as a godparent so I can’t imagine how a 14-year-old can?

While I would encourage my daughter to support her friend, I would also sit her down and have an honest discussion about the consequences of having sex too young, and unprotected.

This would definitely be the opportunity to identify many teachable moments without judging her friend.

Dear Carla,

I am so angry and I don’t know what to do. A few weeks ago, someone who I have mutual friends with told me that she stopped my 12-year-old and talked to her about the length of her shorts because she was concerned that her teenage son might be enticed.

I had no idea this had taken place so I asked my daughter what happened.

She told me she was outside of her best friend’s house with a group of girls when the boy’s mama pulled her aside.

She said the woman accused her of trying to flirt with her son.

My daughter said she did not even know the boy. My daughter said what bothered her is that the mother was screaming in her face.

Because children can sometimes exaggerate, I listened and told her if ever she saw the boy again to walk in another direction, especially in his neighbourhood.

I thought it was all over but my daughter said every time she sees the woman she makes rude remarks ... calling her “fast” and “ugly”.

She even refers to my daughter negatively to her friend, who comes back and tells her.

It’s to the point that if we walk across her place of employment my daughter always looks for an excuse to rush off in another direction.

I want to say something to her but my daughter has begged me not to.

This woman loves drama and confrontation and I’m not into fighting publicly.

What would you do?

MAD AS HECK

Dear Mad As Heck,

Funny how life changes as one matures, because a few years ago I would recommended that you approach her but it doesn’t make sense, especially since your daughter asked you not to.

Some people are just ignorant and have no clue how to conduct themselves. She had no right to approach your daughter in that manner.

If she was that concerned she should have requested to meet with her in the presence of another adult. I believe that was an intimidation tactic on her behalf.

And it seems like it worked. She sounds like a bully. If her behaviour continues, I suggest you call the Police and inform them and what has occurred and seek advice from them on how to handle the situation.

While your daughter may not want you to say anything she will appreciate that you stood up for her.