Dear Carla,

It is not unusual for schools to limit the number of attendees for each student for their graduation ceremony. In a situation where one parent and their family are the support system for the child and the other parent has never attended an honours assembly, parent teacher and the like (and it isn’t because they where never told about it), should that parent be entitled to a ticket to the graduation?

To make things worst, the child does not want the other parent in attendance. Please note, that the child in question will be graduating from senior school. Should the child be left to decide who should be in attendance at the graduation?

WHO SHOULD BE THERE?

Dear Who,

This is a very tough question and so many different angles to explore. If your child is allowed to take that decision for him or herself, will they look back one day and regret it because it was based on emotion at that time? But on the other hand, it mystifies me how parents who don’t play a role when they have every opportunity to, think something is owed to them. However, one can never retrieve yesterday.

While it may take a lot of swallowing on your behalf, I would recommend that you, your child and the other parent sit down and have an honest and frank conversation. But make the discussion centred around your child’s feelings; not yours. If the other parent genuinely wants to be at the graduation they will agree to be a part of this exercise. If they don’t, the answer is simple — let your child decide who to give the ticket to.

Dear Carla,

I have a friend who I adore but I don’t like her children. They are rude and disrespectful and to be honest, it’s painful to be around them. She likes to come to my house all the time and I dread when she says she’s bringing them with her. They break my children’s toys and like to hit. I try not to correct them with the hope that she will, but she says nothing. It irritates me. How do I tell her that I prefer when she not bring them to my house without hurting her feelings?

FRIEND OR FOE

Dear Friend,

You know I shoot straight from the hip. Tell her. It’s YOUR home and the number one rule of life is that one should never be uncomfortable in their own surroundings. You don’t have to be mean about it, just let her know how her children’s behaviour affects yours. As a parent, she’d surely understand. Is there any way that you can visit her instead and leave your children home? This is a situation that can be solved if both parties handle it maturely. Another idea, meet at the playground once in a while so that the children can play in a neutral territory. That would be the perfect way to build a better relationship among them.

Dear Carla,

I am in a relationship with a man who constantly puts me down. He calls me names which hurt my feelings and criticises everything that I do. I tell him how he make me feel and he just ignores me most times. Sometimes he apologises, but most times he doesn’t.

When I tell him I am leaving he gets mad and says that he loves me and that I am not sticking with him. He then promises to treat me better, but usually returns to his old ways within a couple of weeks. Should I leave?

TORN

Dear Torn,

Love yourself foremost. Empower yourself. There are a number of programmes available for women who are being abused (and you ARE being abused) and I would suggest that you seek help. It may be a painful journey at first but it will be so worth it. Once you realise that you have been short changing yourself emotionally, you will leave. And for good. And hopefully you will never let another man treat you like this.