Dear Carla: I have a three-year old child. The father and I are not together anymore, and he has not been in our child’s life like I feel he should be. Over the past few months the child has been acting out in school. Recently, I agreed that our child could go and stay with my ex for an extended period of time. It turned out to be both a good, and bad thing. Our child’s behaviour improved greatly in school, but when he/she returned home to me, our child started to lash out (literally). Screaming and having tantrums has become a normal thing. Our child never acted like this before, and it is hurting me badly. I’m considering not letting our child sleep over their dad’s house for such a long period of time again because I can’t deal with this. While I know my child was happy to spend time with daddy, the bad behaviour at home is just not worth it. Am I wrong? — TIRED OF THE SCREAMING

Dear Tired: Although it seems as if your child is lashing out against you, they are really showing you how much they have missed their father. Instead of looking at it as is they don’t want you, see that they really want more of their father. It’s imperative that you do not cut off father’s contact because you would do your child more harm than good. Your child is most likely acting out towards you because they feel when they are with you they may not see daddy again.

Have you considered asking dad to come by your home a couple of times a week to visit? His consistent presence will reassure your child that he’s still around, even when they are not staying at his home.

It sounds like your child is just afraid of losing daddy again. While it’s not easy right now, it’s vital that you put your child’s emotional being before your discomfort. If you have to have a good cry by all means go ahead. Crying is a great way to cleanse the soul.

I would also recommend you seek the services of a helping agency that can support you. Sometimes we have to realise that we can’t do it all on our own. Please don’t eliminate dad, especially since he wants to now be there in a greater capacity.

Dear Carla: I have a son who was diagnosed with ADHD at age seven, and around the same time tested with the Reading Clinic and was found to have Dyslexia.

He has been attending the Reading Clinic for tutoring for the a few years but now he has finished with them. Although his reading has become a lot better he is still a few grades behind. He is now going into M2 and he reads at P4/5 level. I find a lot of teachers do not know how to deal with children with multiple challenges. It’s frustrating for the child, and also the parent, because most times the child gets labelled as a bad kid, when really they are just in need a different environment, and to be taught differently. There are not many choices on island as far as different teaching styles. I feel like this Government system is not for my child, and I don’t know what to do next. — DOING THE BEST I CAN

Dear Doing The Best: Firstly, you should speak to his principal as soon as you can. With school out for the summer, traditionally schools officially have reopened on September 1. Express your concerns and insist that viable solutions be found to ensure he is as best equipped as he can to be able to succeed in his learning environment. Does your son require a para-educator and doesn’t have one? Inquire about that possibility as well. In the private sector, there are a number of individuals who offer private reading lessons. There is also an all-boys school in Flatts that specialises in teaching males with learning and/or social challenges. I wish you well but implore that you exhaust all avenues no matter how frustrating it may become.

Dear Carla: My daughter’s mother and I broke up a while ago. She now lives with her new boyfriend. I have no problem with that, but one thing that she does that bothers me is that she doesn’t answer her phone when she is at home. I don’t understand since I have no issue with her boyfriend. What could that be about? — ANSWER THE PHONE

Dear Answer: I can’t explain why she doesn’t answer, but I will speculate that she probably tells him negative things about you, which would make it odd if you had a civil conversation in front of him. Despite moving on, some people have difficulties moving on with their new lives. Have you asked her why she does this? If not, give her an opportunity to explain her actions. If all else fails, just go to her house and knock on her door. Bet you she would answer the phone when you call after that.