Dear Carla: My child’s father has never been in his life. My son is 12 years old and has seen his father maybe three times over the years. I’ve never bothered him for anything and our paths rarely cross. Two weeks ago, he tracked me down and said that he would like to get the opportunity to know our son. I told him I would get back to him.

I am not sure what to do. My son has had some behavioural issues at school and I feel a part of it is because he’s never had his father. On one hand I would like for my son to know his daddy but on the other hand I am sceptical about his father causing him further pain if he drops out of his life. Part of me feels it’s my son’s choice but as his mother and protector I want to say no. What should I do? — YES OR NO?

Dear Yes or No: I think you should give dad a chance to get to know your son and most importantly give your son the opportunity to create a positive relationship with his father. It may seem scary at first but you have to start with baby steps.

Talk to your son about his father’s request. If he starts to ask questions regarding his absenteeism, give dad the opportunity to answer for himself. He needs to be accountable for his actions, not you. Arrange to meet at a neutral place like a park or a restaurant and make introductions. Let small talk occur and go from there. If it goes well under the circumstances, arrange regular meetings (it doesn’t have to be weekly because you don’t want to overwhelm your son with the situation) but regularly enough to where your son begins to see for himself that his father wants to establish a bond with him.

If and when it gets to a point where your son wants to be alone with his father, do not block it. Support it. A late beginning is better than nothing.

Dear Carla: I have a good friend who is known for defrauding people. I love her to pieces but I do not want her in my home. Am I wrong? Does this make me a bad friend? — AM I A FRAUD?

Dear Am I: No, you are not a fraud. You are being cautious and preserving your friendship. But there’s only so long you can avoid her coming to your house before she notices that something is up. Although you are trying to avoid it, it’s a conversation that you are going to have. And soon. Handle the topic with care because it could end up where you lose her friendship.

Dear Carla: I keep getting mixed signals from a man I have even seeing for a year. One minute he acts like we are in a relationship and the next, when it suits him, he decides that we are not in a relationship. I feel that he is using me emotionally because he knows how I feel about him. I don’t want to leave him but on the other hand I cannot put up with this any longer. When I try to walk away, he tries to prevent me but his behaviour continues. I think he’s selfish. He says he’s confused. What should I do? — CONFUSED

Dear Confused: That’s not hard ... leave him. You don’t deserve this.

Dear Carla: I think there is a shortage of decent women in Bermuda so last year I signed up on a well-known internet dating site. I have met some nice ladies and have spoken to them on Skype but I refuse to meet any of them in person. They’ve asked me to fly to meet them and one has offered to come here. But I’m nervous. What should I do? I think my fears are preventing me from perhaps a new life. — AM I CHICKEN?

Dear Chicken: I’ve signed up to dating sites in the past. The first time I did it, I used a fake name and no picture. The second time, I never responded to the males who expressed interest because I was terrified that they could be mass murderers so I understand your apprehension. I think you need to make up your mind. Do you want to do this seriously or not? If you are then you have to be willing to take the steps needed to take it to the next level. If you aren’t, I think you should erase your profile because somewhere out there is a woman who is taking your profile very seriously.