Dear Carla: A co-worker and I have a good relationship, or so I thought. We go to lunch together at least three times a week, talk on the phone outside of work hours and sometimes go to social events together. A few months ago she got engaged and she is set to be married next month. While he wedding is not going to be a huge one, she has invited some friends, but not me. My feelings are hurt. Should I say something? I’m really surprised. JILTED

Dear Jilted: If I was you I would not say anything. It’s her wedding and therefore it’s her and her future husband’s choice on who they want there. Just wish her well and be done with it. If you choose to ask her later on down the road, go ahead. But now is not the time, do not disrupt her joy.

Dear Carla: How do I make my children understand that money is tight without putting burden on them? They are always asking for things I cannot afford, and I feel guilty that I cannot provide it. What should I do? BROKE

Dear Broke: Just be honest with them. You didn’t say how old they are but I’m going to assume they are old enough to understand on a basic level, your financial situation. You have to keep it real with them so that they can better appreciate what they do have. I think the mistake parents make is that they paint a false picture of what really is. If they act like they have loads of money, their children will treat them accordingly. When times are tight, I let my children know.

I make no bones about it. And when I feel they are being ungrateful I point out how blessed they are compared to some of their peers in other parts of the world.

Dear Carla: What do I do? I am involved with a man who claims he loves me but never wants to do anything with me in public? He says he loves me but I really don’t think so. I’m so tired of living like this although I have feelings for him. Should I stick it out with him or should I walk away? NEED MORE

Dear Need More: This is a very hard one for me to answer because no one has to live with your decision but you. A couple of years ago, I would not have hesitated to tell you walk away as fast as you can but truth be told, walking away isn’t always the best option. Men take longer to mature than women and he may need some time to grow up. The question to ask yourself is do you have the patience to wait? If you are going to be frustrated then it makes no sense waiting for him. I think you need to ask yourself if he is worth it. Some men will take advantage of your love for them and that’s the last thing that you need. Remember, we send a very strong message to men when we tolerate substandard actions. By doing so we are subconsciously telling them it’s okay to treat us that way.

Dear Carla: I have two children. Their father barely does anything for them. I beg him to spend time with them and he rarely agrees. I accept that these are his ways but sometimes I find myself getting very angry, particularly when I am stressed. With school starting soon, I asked him if he would be willing to help me with getting their school supplies. I didn’t even ask him for half, just some help. He flat out refused because he pays child support. Summer day camps were very expensive this year and throughout the year I ask him for nothing additional so I can’t understand why he won’t help. I am so mad. I don’t understand how he can be this way. He always has an excuse for not providing any extra but travels frequently and always has on new clothes. Am I wrong for being mad? STRUGGLING

Dear Struggling: No, you are not wrong to be angry but I think you have to take a step back and understand that he is exactly who he wants to be and there is nothing that you can do about it. One of the greatest lessons I have learned is that I cannot expect people to live the way in which I would when it comes to my children.

Focus on what you can do and ask godparents and/or relatives to assist. Getting upset only causes you grief while he still lives his life. Don’t give him that energy. He is not worth it.