Dear Carla,

I know this may seem petty but why do people go out of their way to send you a friend request on Facebook but when they see you in public they don’t speak? I know not everybody on there is literally my friend but why bother connect in my world in cyberspace but ignore me in the real world?

READY TO BLOCK

Dear Ready,

As much I love social media, I try my best not to take it personally. Who cares if they don’t speak? Everybody has at least three people on their friends’ list who really are there to spy to them (I have 5,000 friends but almost 400 followers so I can only imagine how many are on my profile!). They are called trolls.

Their sole purpose is to gather information and report their findings. So my first suggestion to you is never put anything into the cyber universe that you don’t want anyone to know. Secondly, ask them politely and directly why are they sending you a request.

It may take them by surprise, but that gives you the upper hand. Another option is to block and delete them so that they can’t see anything on your profile. Once blocked, a person cannot see your page or anything you post. But why even bother get upset. I would smile and do me.

Dear Carla,

What do I do when my ex-boyfriend will only see our child if I entertain his advances?

I want nothing to do with him and have told him this on a regular basis.

At first he brushes it off but when he realises that I’m not playing he takes it out on her and disappears for weeks at a time. I don’t want to mess with him anymore but I don’t want my child to suffer. Should I just give in for the sake of my child?

PRESSURED

Dear Pressured,

If you don’t want to mess with him, there’s no reason why you should. A good father sees his child regardless of circumstances. And you as a mother should not prevent your child from seeing their father. The next time he tries to come on to you, simply ignore him. Tell him you are only willing to discuss issues affecting the child. If he refuses to see child do not bad mouth him, just allow him/your child to make contact with him when they ask. Hopefully he’ll outgrow his foolishness and do what’s in best interest of child.

Dear Carla,

I keep having the discussion which centres around whether or not women can teach their sons how to be good men. While I believe they can, my uncles say it’s impossible. I am asking you because you are a single mother raising sons...whose do you think is right?

GOOD MOM

Dear Good Mom,

While I believe that a single mother can successfully raise her sons, I think any young male has a better chance of being productive with both parents working collaboratively. While many females who have been placed in this predicament do well at raising their sons, they cannot offer that nurturing that a man should give his child, providing the father is exhibiting behaviours that are favourable as it makes no sense having a male around who brings nothing to the proverbial table.

But this is where godfathers and extended family, such as your uncles, come in. If each of them made an effort to spend regular time with the child, the child would not even realise that they have no father around. I firmly believe it makes no sense of crying over spilled milk.

Instead, make the best milkshake you can!