Dear Carla, My son’s best friend is a female. She is always at our home, day and evening, but has never spent the night. They are 17. Recently my husband found her in our son’s room sleepy. She was fully dressed and so was he. Neither of them were under the covers. However, it was one in the morning. My son asked if she could spend the night. I was against it while my husband felt it was okay since they are platonic friends. We called her parents, both of whom were fine with her staying as well. I was angry and shocked at the adults’ reaction or lack thereof. I relented and she stayed on the couch. Was I being old fashioned? Am I a prude?

— OLD FASHIONED?

Dear Old Fashioned? I don’t think you are being a prude. While they are platonic friends, I do not think that it is appropriate for her to spend the night at his home or vice versa. Feelings can evolve and anything can happen. I would not allow it … prevention is better than cure. I think your husband and her parents are being a tad too liberal. If you have not done so already, I would set a firm curfew for when she should leave your home so that you are not faced with this dilemma again.

Dear Carla, I am finding it more difficult to survive financially. Everything is getting more expensive and I am at wit’s end. I know that I have to get a second job but I do not want to leave my children at night. I do not want to hire a babysitter because then it will use up the money that I earn from the second job. I do not qualify for financial assistance. I feel like I am on the verge of having a mental breakdown. I do not have much family support. Do you know of resources that I could utilise?

— STRESSED

Dear Stressed, Do you know of any reliable teenagers who can watch your children in exchange for community service hours? Just about every senior student Island-wide is mandated to accrue at least 20 community service hours during the school year. This would definitely be a win/win situation. Or what about godparents? Maybe they could take turns watching them for you. That’s what godparents are for — providing support to their godchildren and it doesn’t always have to be financial. Churches are also good resources as well as the number of helping services throughout the island. Good luck!

Dear Carla, Is it okay for a parent to give a child a sip of beer now and then? I do it all the time and see nothing wrong with it but my mother gets very upset with me.

— JUST A TASTE

Dear Just a Taste, The scientific answer is a resounding NO. Studies have proven that early consumption of alcohol can cause developmental delays in children and other subsequent problems. However, I think that it is not for me to dictate what one should and should not do when it comes to their children. While I personally do not condone this behaviour, there are many people who do. I would think that they would do things that are in the best interest of their children, though. Sometimes, parents make the mistake of indulging in behaviours with their children that they think are cute, but as the children grow older the results could be dastardly.

Dear Carla, I cannot get my 18-year-old son to communicate with me about things outside of everyday life. He will tell me about his day at school, bike problems, even conflicts with his friends but he refuses to divulge anything beyond that, like what girls he is seeing and whether or not he’s having sex. I don’t want to pry but I want to ensure that he is educated about safe sex and potential heartbreak. Whenever I try to bring up the subject he brushes me off. What should I do?

— HE WON’T TALK TO ME

Dear He Won’t Talk, You are not alone! Teens possess multiple personalities on any given day! They will share a day’s worth of information with their friends in 15 minutes, but can spend hours in their parents’ presence and only utter ten words. And let’s not even mention texting, whatsapp and Skype! I would not press him directly. Bring up random topics randomly or even indirectly so that he does not feel pressured. If a show comes on the television that you can draw some correlation from, and discuss it generically. Although he may not talk about himself directly, it will give you some insight into how your son thinks. Then you can go from there. Eighteen-year-olds generally do not share every little detail of their lives to their parents, so your son’s behaviour is quite normal.