First of two parts

This morning, without much thought, I gave my usual drive-by wave to Johnny Barnes. Then it struck me. This man, come rain or shine, has been wishing Bermuda “good morning” for nearly 30 years! I remember the controversy when he first started, some feared him a madman, others a ‘danger to traffic’ … now he’s considered a Bermuda institution.

Oh, so many lessons for us right there but what I admire most is his extraordinary level of commitment.

‘Commitment’ has never really been my strong suit. I considered myself a bit of a free-wheeler, especially before I became a parent.

I recently read a passage in a book that stung with painful familiarity. Pierre, described as ‘of weak character’, has just promised his friend that he won’t attend a party, but moments later decides it really would be fun. In his mind he justifies breaking the promise: he’d already committed to go and such ‘words of honour’ are conventional things with no definite meaning, especially if one considers that by tomorrow one may be dead ...

The book is Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace. A commitment in itself.

My son is insisting I read it to him. At the rate we’re going, having to look up historical references on every page, it will take us approximately three years to finish — longer than my marriage took.

These days I rarely promise anything. I’m more of a ‘maybe … let’s see’ plan-maker, giving myself an out in case I need one.

Like a lot of people, I dart around commitment as if keeping a door open for a better option.

And surely that’s fine when it relates to weekend barbecue arrangements?

But there are some things that I really want to do, that would be good for me, but not long in I often change my mind when something more fun — or just less like hard work — comes along that I can distract myself with.

I don’t want to be ‘of weak character’.

Self discipline — this is what I need. I hear other people say it too, whenever they unexpectedly quit on something they’d intended, be it the healthy eating plan, the study regime, their physical training etc. The problem is, ‘self-discipline’ sounds nasty. Perhaps we’ve come to associate it with that mean headmistress of a voice inside our heads that reprimands us if we fall off the wagon, telling us we’ve failed, might as well give up, that says, ‘I’m disappointed in you’.

I don’t think that critical tally-taker of our mistakes has anything to do with self-discipline though.

Harsh punishment is not the way towards positive habits. And really, isn’t that what discipline and self-discipline really are, building positive habits?

So how do we do that?

Find out next week. I’ll be sharing tips and tricks for building self-discipline success!

• Julia Pitt is a trained success coach and certified NLP practitioner on the team at Benedict Associates. For further information contact Julia on 705-7488, www.juliapittcoaching.com.