Dear Dr Nekia,

My man friend seems to never be sexually satisfied. I know a lot of women say this because they do not care for sex too much, but I am serious, he just seems to never get enough. I asked him if he could have as much sex as he wants, how much would he have. His answer was at least three times a day. Is this normal?

He Wants Too Much Sex

Dear He Wants Too Much Sex,

As always, I would advise that it is best that he first rule out any medical reasons for his behaviour. He should check with his physician for a physical and, if all test results are normal, he should consider checking with a natural health practitioner as well.

The reason being is that oftentimes natural health practitioners can pick up on imbalances within the body that standardised medical tests are not designed to detect.

There are a few medical reasons for why men or women have seemingly overzealous sex drives, and once the possibility of these are ruled out, he can then begin to determine whether or not his sex drive is indeed normal for him, or whether it is due to a psychological motivator.

Psychological motivators such as stress, residual anger turning into resentment, and even depression can cause elevated sex drives.

If this does not make sense to you, think of how men often say they feel as though they just need a release. Many times this is due to a stress response within their bodies, and the body recognises that a quick and enjoyable way to rid itself of tension and pent-up stress energy is to ejaculate.

Likewise, the man’s chosen partner provides some level of comfort for him as his body connects with theirs. On the other hand, it is important to realise that we all have varying degrees of healthy sexual appetites and his libido just may be normal for him.

Dear Dr Nekia,

I heard that cuddling has health benefits. If this is true, what are they and why don’t doctors prescribe it to their patients?

Is Cuddling Healthy

Dear Is Cuddling Healthy,

Cuddling can provide us with many documented health benefits. Whether coming from cuddling, massage, holding hands, or simply touching, skin-to-skin contact provides benefits for our wellbeing.

Even though many physicians do not prescribe it to their patients, there are quite a few who believe in the value of touch therapy.

Most notable benefits of touch include improvement on the growth and development of babies, and blood pressure-lowering effects for adults.

Studies show that skin-to-skin contact initiates an exchange of energy and causes soothing effects on our nervous and circulatory systems which lead to psychologically (mind, emotions) and physiologically (physical body) calming states.

Babies that are held and massaged thrive and grow far more healthy then those that are not, and adults are shown to live lives far less stressful and more healthy the more they are massaged and held.

Skin-to-skin contact with animals and pets seems to give similar results. However, an intimate and loving relationship with another person is the more beneficial skin-to-skin contact.

Dear Dr Nekia,

I am dating a woman who I care a lot about but she does not communicate.

She has no problem talking about little things that do not really matter, but when it comes to important decisions or feelings, she goes quiet.

Why won’t she talk to me about the things that matter?

Sincerely,

I Have A Silent Lady

Dear I Have A Silent Lady,

It is popular knowledge that women are more emotional and are better communicators than men, however, this is not true. We are equally capable of expressing feelings and communicating our wants and needs.

Males and females have a limbic system made up of parts of the brain that use emotions to communicate with our mind and body and detail information about our interaction with the world around us.

This difference between the sexes that everyone talks about primarily comes from socialisation. As children, girls are encouraged to be more expressive than males.

Males are taught, and learn by observing other males, that it is not masculine or manly to be emotional.

As a result, growth and development occurs with the female’s limbic system and her emotional brain becomes stronger. The brain is like any other muscle — if you don’t use it, you lose it.

So there is no such thing as logical versus emotional because it all comes from the brain. That is, although different parts of the brain are responsible for thinking and emotion, they both rely on one another to make decisions and one does not work well without the other.

Furthermore, any trauma or environmental trigger can cause a male or a female to either deny their emotions or to withdraw emotionally. Once this happens the person, to some degree, is disconnected from the world as they tend to suppress their emotions and the information these emotions are trying to tell them.

Someone who is disconnected from their environment is also somewhat disconnected from reality and is often unable to communicate.

This naturally leads them to be disconnected from loved ones to various degrees. To the best of their ability they choose when and how much they are willing to communicate.

In turn, such persons often engage in dysfunctional relationships. When someone does not allow themselves to feel emotions and communicate that information to others, a barrier is created where no one will be able to know or experience the world as they see it.

Within intimate relationships, being able to view the world through one another’s eyes is very important for bonding and understanding one another. This is really why, without communication, relationships fall apart.

If you hope to have a lasting relationship with this particular woman, she will need to feel comfortable to begin to open up emotionally to you.

You may be dealing with a wounded heart or fearful spirit, so be patient and find out as much as you can about why she is so unresponsive to you.

• Want relationship advice? E-mail nakedtruth@royalgazette.com