Dear Lord,

Over the past four years, your children of the East have been put under mental and emotional bondage by those people from the West. We have been subjected to a constant stream of insults, ridicule and financial debt. As such, your children of the East need your help, oh Merciful One.

As the great calypso monarch Arrow stated decades ago, “It’s Cup Match time in Bermuda!!”

Lord, we know that Cup Match was started as a way for your enslaved Africans to take a stand against the iron fist of their colonial masters. So it is in this vein that the children of the East are planning on taking a stand once again in less than one week’s time.

For four years, we have been subjected to all sorts of vileness on these new inventions called Facebook and Instagram. Persons such as Judy Cann-Outerbridge, in particular, have taken a liking to taking the facial pictures of your faithful ones and plastering them on clown-like bodies dressed in those ridiculous western colours.

If that was not bad enough, she has a cultlike following who then do this thing called “sharing” and they send out those distasteful pictures to thousands of other persons who are on social media. Father, it has become so bad that other children of the East have begun to believe that persons such as Harry “Brook” Washington have switched sides.

Lord, this has to stop.

Therefore, Lord, we ask you to guide the hands of our Eastern warriors. Focus their minds to rise above their grief and let them stay focused on staying in past lunchtime. Lord, just as no one much gave West Indies any hope of winning not one but all three global championships a few months ago, so, too, is the lack of optimism in some quarters about this team.

Lord, we know that you said that you will help those that help themselves, so instil in those warriors that they are not going out to play only for themselves, but more importantly they are going out to represent thousands of Bermudians who have put their faith in St George’s for their entire lives — people who have never wavered or “switched up”.

These persons included but are not limited to Senator Renée Ming, Cindy Swan, Craig Cannonier, the Minister of Public Works, the entire Foggo, Bascome (well, some of them) and Pitcher clan (OK, well, some of them, too).

Without a doubt, the most important things that those warriors have to keep in mind is that they are representing what should be the best of Bermudian cricket that has become a showcase to the world. Yes, Lord, we know our cricket standards have dropped for a multitude of inexcusable reasons, yet the time is now that both teams must stake their claim to be gentlemen first and foremost, on and off the field.

That, Lord, is their most pressing responsibility, and as Bermudians we will accept nothing less than professionalism.

So in conclusion, Lord, I know we have come with a long list of requests. However, you have always said, “Ask and it shall be received.” So I ask that you forgive those people from the West who have been uber-sassy over the past four years.

Persons such as but not limited to Michelle Cox, Makai Dickerson, Evernell Davis, LaVerne Furbert, David Burt, Jefferson Sousa, Dawn Simmons and all her sisters, Selena Simons, May Smith and the latest turncoat, Sherri Simmons.

Your son, Jesus, said: “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do.”

Forgive them all for all their sarcasm towards your children from the East. Forgive them for all the bad things they have said on social media and forgive them for believing that they will gain a “hat-trick of wins at home” this year.

Forgive them all, Lord; just not Judy Cann-Outerbridge or her cousin, Ellen-Kate Horton. Let them wear red for all eternity.

Ps: Lord, may you send back Uncle Rupert Scotland for two days. If not then, just get Uncle Charlie Marshall to come out of retirement. Oh, and please hold back the rain so there is no draw game.

Amen.