Dear Dr Nekia,

My man and I spend all our free time together. His friends tease him, and my friends are getting angry with me, saying that they are tired of him tagging along everywhere. I enjoy his company and he enjoys mine. I do not like having to choose between doing things with friends and with him.

Why can’t I enjoy everyone’s company on outings and social gatherings? I am being told that it is not normal the way we are always together, and that it is actually bad for our relationship. Is this true?

Sincerely,

Joined At The Hip

Dear Joined At The Hip,

New love can most certainly be exciting. And while it is natural to want to spend as much time as possible with your partner, there are some dangers to look out for.

It is far easier to take someone for granted who is always readily available to you; being around one another 24/7 can backfire and cause you both to grow tired fairly quickly.

Allow yourselves the opportunity to crave being together, which will also make you truly grateful for the time that you do get to have.

At the moment, you are in the honeymoon stage where the world seems to be a brighter place and you really are not focused on much of one another’s flaws.

As the butterflies, euphoria, and emotions of the honeymoon phase begin to fade — and they will — you must learn to connect with one another on deeper levels. Unfortunately, many couples never survive this transition because they were too intoxicated by the fairy dust of the honeymoon stage to give any real attention to the compatibility of their partner.

Do not let this happen to you. Make sure that you see him for who he is. To do this you must allow time for yourself so that you do not lose you in the process.

The desire to want to be around your man and not have to choose between spending time with him or your friends is understandable. Your friends will need to accept that you are no longer single; that you have someone in your life with whom you want to share time and experiences with.

However, leave room for just girl time. It is important for you to have female bonding just as it is important for him to have time for male bonding.

It is great to be so involved in one another’s lives, but do not forget to also have a life of your own. After all, you are in a relationship with him, not your friends. He is your man, not our man.

Dear Dr Nekia,

Me and my wife do not have sex too often. I am good with us having sex once every two weeks or so. She has not complained about it, but I am being told that it is not nearly enough.

I have read that the happier and more fulfilled a couple is in their marriage or relationship, the more they will want to have sex with one another. Could it be that my wife and I are ignoring some warning signs that things are not as kosher as we may think they are? Is sex really that big a deal?

Sincerely,

Is It Not Enough Sex

Dear Is It Not Enough Sex,

First off, we must remember that there are many kinds of marriages, and many reasons why people choose to get married.

Statistics and surveys such as you mentioned assume that everyone got together because they were hopelessly in love and that sex is an indicator of a healthy and loving relationship.

While it can indeed be such an indicator, it is not and should not solely be used to judge the happiness or unhappiness of your union.

For example, if you did not marry for love, then sex would most definitely not be used to measure satisfaction in the marriage. It would be the same for persons who are extremely busy or those who have a lower libido.

You have to look at your unique situation. I do not want to downplay the importance of sex in bonding and building intimacy, but I also do not want you to focus so much on the amount of sex you are having if it is causing anxiety and doubt where there previously was none.

If you and your wife are happy with one another and your infrequent sexual involvement is primarily due to choice, then chances are you are OK as a couple.

It shows that your marriage has substance and that you are not relying upon sex to give you your thrills and enjoyment. Sex is very important for solidifying a union, but if couples rely upon it too much, their relationship can crumble because sex, in the modern day traditional sense, is very superficial and its pleasures, fleeting.

I am sure that, to some degree, we all can improve on our relationships, but do not focus on making sex your central indicator of happiness if you both know that you have put in the time and effort to build a long-lasting and meaningful relationship.

• Want relationship advice? E-mail nakedtruth@royalgazette.com