Turn the other cheek on Bikinigate
After thinking about it for a few days, I thought to myself: no, I’m not going to throw my dog into that fight; let the rest of dem bies hash it out.
I am, of course, talking about the big “Bikini Debate”, and from what I can see, it got more attention than the much anticipated presidential debate last week. I even told wifey that when she goes shopping, make sure she buys an extra bag of popcorn ’cause this is getting interesting.
We have the argument put forward on the letters page of The Royal Gazette that it's just not proper for people to walk around in bathing suits on our streets and that the antiquated law about police officers walking around with tape measures should be imposed.
Yeah, I can see it now: a copper stopping a woman and taking out a tape measure to measure her exposed thigh; our boys in blue would end up with such a ringing slap, quickly followed by a sexual harassment lawsuit.
Another quote from the Letters to the Editor page: would you wear a bikini to church? Errmm, no! But I’m sure many women wouldn’t wear a bikini to work, either.
I’ve seen things, horrible things, on our beaches, such as 65-year-old men who look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow man in Speedos, but if that’s how they want to look on our pink sand, then good for them. I’m not going to demand that they cover up — and don’t go on about the fat-shaming thing; I’m trying to make a point here.
It seems to me over the years, we as Bermewjans have done everything in our power to make our island less hospitable to our visitors. Gone are the days when tourists came off ships and airplanes in droves to an island that was geared to welcome this once-thriving industry.
We had a hotel college to train Bermudians in the hospitality profession; we had live bands, limbo dancers, calypso singers, and many great hotels. And, most importantly, the welcoming smile and good morning from our locals. But, alas, those days have gone.
We outpriced ourselves years ago by allowing expensive hotels, expensive food, expensive airline flights. We closed the hotel college and stopped local entertainment; basically, we got greedy and, face it, if you don’t like beaches or golf, as the old Dire Straits song goes, it’s “Money for Nothing”.
Now dem bies on the de Hill have tried to bring back at least some attractions to the island by opening casinos and new hotels, but we all knew that would never happen. They couldn’t organise a booze-up in a brewery.
So why do we try and shoot ourselves in the foot and slowly put another nail in the coffin of our tourism industry by attempting to impose more restrictions on our visitors?
I say ease up on dem visitors to our shores. If they want to leave the beach and walk through town in their bathing suits, let them; we can't afford to be toffee-nosed any more. And if they go back home and say to their friends, “Bermuda is so relaxing. We went to the beach, then went into town and looked into the shops.”
If this sounds inviting to their friends, then maybe they, too, will want to visit our small island — and the only ones who are going to benefit from this is us.
And if you still have a problem with this bikini saga, try turning the other cheek.