There is an inherent fallacy in the title of this piece. As if the war only started back in February 24, 2022. When the reality is that this war began much earlier than that. Back in February to April of 2014 actually, when Russia annexed Crimea, and infiltrated and occupied parts of the Donbas — the Donetsk and Luhansk oblasts (region) of Ukraine.

So to say that we’ve reached the 1,000th day of the war is not a viewpoint shared or felt by Ukranians and doesn’t reflect their lived reality. And to the people who would summarise this war as just a “proxy war between the US and Western countries versus Russia”, I would challenge them to explain that viewpoint to a Ukrainian and see the reaction you get. Enlighten them about how this isn’t a war for their independence and see the reaction you get. Not to mention that oversimplifying this as a “proxy war” completely ignores the actual Ukrainian soldiers who are actually fighting this war and the Ukrainians civilians who are caught in the middle of it.

I came to Ukraine in April or May 2022, and since then I’ve formed a life here after initially spending time supporting civilians. Since then I have predominantly supported the war effort. Training soldiers in basic infantry tactics, which I learnt from the Royal Bermuda Regiment, as well as “Tactical Combat Casualty Care”, which is the standardised medical treatment protocol used on the battlefield. I am a certified Combat Medic and Instructor through the National Association of Emergency Medical Technicians.

I would like to write two articles, but here I will focus specifically on a particularly difficult experience I had in Ukraine — from September 2023 to early January 2024.

In September 2023, I signed a contract as a soldier with the 501st Battalion of the 37th Marine Brigade. This was primarily to serve as an instructor, but there was an expectation to perform the duties of a soldier as well. So I was no longer able to claim the role of solely being a volunteer any more. This was something that myself and three of my good buddies willingly sought out and agreed to. We were a “self-formed” training team who worked well together — all from a military background, of different nationalities, but some with specific combat experience in Afghanistan and Iraq. We each brought our own skills and played off each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

The only way to sum up this experience is to say that it was one of the worst in my life. I’ve journalled about it, but talked to only a close circle of people. I can’t get into all of the details so as to keep this as succinct as possible.

This wasn’t the worst experience because of the people I worked with, or the conditions that we lived in, but because of the mission that the 501st Battalion and the entire 37th Marine Brigade were assigned. This was during the end of the Ukrainian “counteroffensive,” as autumn was transitioning to winter. The mission that our brigade was assigned was going to be incredibly difficult, if not impossible. As instructors, we were informed of the mission early on, and it was clear that based on our logistics and resources, we were in dire straits with what awaited us.

As instructors and soldiers, we were helpless to express any opinion or to try to dissuade the mission that was set for our battalion in the brigade — and that’s not how the military works. I can only speak for myself, but it seemed obvious that this would be a suicide mission with a very high rate of casualties. As time went on and we got closer to that day when things were going to “kick off,” it was incredibly difficult mentally to approach each day working and training with the soldiers, knowing what they would be going up against. One thing as instructors we tried to tell ourselves was that, if nothing else, our presence being there and offering training to these Ukrainian soldiers meant something to them — and provided them with some skills and confidence. It also demonstrated that foreigners cared enough about them and Ukraine that they were willing to leave their lives behind to help and support them.

During this time, we also found out that Russian hackers had gained access to all of our recruitment documents, and they were posted online. So a copy of my passport information, personal information, etc were posted online and are still widely available.

Long story short, the mission went ahead. The vast majority of the 200-plus soldiers that I spent months living and working with were killed. We were in contact with them, we knew details of the situation on the ground, and most of them died terrible deaths — men ranging from their twenties to their fifties, mostly Ukrainian, but some foreigners as well.

To see and hear how these soldiers/heroes died and what their last moments were like breaks my heart. I saw videos from them, of what it was like where they were. The only way to describe it is that it was like another world entirely — bleak winter skies, no vegetation, destruction and rubble everywhere, and the fallen bodies of enemy combatants along with members from our own battalion.

It wasn’t the first encounter here where I’ve dealt with death, but it was the first where I was an actual contracted soldier in the Ukrainian army, and spent such an extended period of time with the soldiers as one of them and really got to know them on a deep and personal level.

This is the first time I’ve ever shared any of this publicly. I don’t really know how to end this. There’s no positive quote or spin to put on this story. I suppose the only saving grace is that some of the soldiers survived and were able to be evacuated — but their physical and mental injuries will last them a lifetime.

I wasn’t even there with them, but I struggled for many months to try and make sense of all of this. To try to come to terms with the feelings of anger, helplessness and immense sadness that it left me with. It’s now nearing the anniversary from when all of this happened, and it still plays on my mind. This is something I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life.

It isn’t a positive portrayal of the war, but there’s really no positive way to portray war. War is hell. But people need to have an inkling of the realities of what’s going on in Ukraine. I share this ultimately in the hope that the same way people remember the Second World War and the sacrifices soldiers made, people will remember the sacrifices that soldiers are making each and every day here as the rest of the world go about their daily lives, taking simple things for granted.

These soldiers (heroes) make these sacrifices not because of a “proxy war”, but because they are fighting for their independence and freedom from Russian oppression and occupation.

Слава Україні! Glory to Ukraine!

Героям слава! Glory to the Heroes!

• Jason Rhind, a former Royal Bermuda Regiment soldier, is in Ukraine providing military training