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WHEN a child of no more than six-years-old tries to sell you a dry tortilla for 50 cents from atop the giant bundle on her head, you know you are in for an intriguing afternoon of football.

Watching the Beautiful Game in El Salvador is an experience every football fan should go through at some point. It is like no other and emphasises the sterility of the National Stadium when it comes to making home advantage count.

Estadio Cuscutlan will be a cauldron of hate and vitriol on Sunday as Bermuda attempt to reach the semi-final stage of the World Cup qualifiers against Central American opposition more than 50 places above them.

The now famous bags of urine and diapers may make a return as the locals attempt to show the island visitors that even if they won't declare war on the British colony ? as they did on Honduras in 1969's Football War ? it will certainly be an uncomfortable stay in their country.

Even at a largely unimportant league game between San Salvador and Allianza ? two struggling sides ? there was enough concern to send heavily-armoured, heavily-armed troops to the ground by the bus load to keep an eye on the 3,500 fans who turned out.

In a city where every restaurant, bar, petrol station and shopping mall requires a shotgun-carrying guard, the sight of the Police, bulked up in their gladiatorial body armour, is not an intimidating one for the locals.

For them football is about enormous flags, often taking more than a dozen people to carry them into place, it is about banging drums, it is about jumping about, running around, being noisy and giving their all to see their team win.

In a country where the number of donkeys, shanty towns and trucks dangerously filled with early morning workers are a clear indication of the levels of poverty, football is a rare release for the locals and a chance to genuinely vent their emotions.

With tickets for Cuscutlan for league games starting at $4 ? to stand on the yellow and red terraces ? all can afford to get in and watch their heroes, and berate the opposition.

Beers come in at $1.50 and the tortillas are less than a dollar, although visiting foreigners will be charged more.

By way of cuisine, unrecognisable treats abound, nearly all carried on the head of a minor, although there is a barbecue affair at the back of the main stand ? $15 for plastic seats and a roof to protect you from the rigours of rainy season ? offering what appears to be a worrying literal interpretation of Hot Dogs.

No lights in the trough that masquerades as a gents toilet ? no women's toilets at all ? this is not a stadium that will win awards.

But, courtesy of its unfriendly enormity, it can probably win matches for the home team, such is the atmosphere that locals say they create there.

Upwards of 50,000 are expected to attend this weekend, with the lack of a charter from the island meaning the Bermudians will be alone save for a rather nervous Sports Minister Dale Butler watching from what he hopes will be a safe VIP area.

They are going to be met by a sea of flags, a cacophony of drums and the hatred of a nation who love their football to the point of violence.

Talk in El Salvador is of a big win and fans menacingly joke that 'Bermuda weel not get out if zey beat us' without prompting.

There are fences to protect the players ? and officials ? but it will still not be a pleasant afternoon for Kenny Thompson's men.

And when the Central Americans return here next week for the second leg, the 'intimidating' sight of Dale Butler and his tomahawk will seem awfully tame by comparison.